Random Poetry

[i_h8_evil_stuff]

Thank you. Edited post.
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[sylphish]

[Huey]

*ahem*

The Mouse Named Nevermore

By Huey Po-po Ly

Once in the month of January
I was reading the dictionary
And wondering why I wasn’t watching
The Monday game of football.

Suddenly there came a creaking
A distinct, annoyed creaking
That came from the rusted screws
Of my bathroom door
‘Tis a draft and nothing more.

Ah distinctly I remembered
Back in the dark December
I’ve neglected to fix my bathroom door.
Back then I was a little crazy, also a little lazy
So I’ve neglected to fix my bath room door,
Or do any of my household chores.

Suddenly from the bathroom within
There came a tiny squeaking
And there were sounds of something clawing
Clawing at my bathroom door.

Sitting still there I wonder
And then, hesitating no longer
All my fears I swallowed and conquered
I kicked open my bathroom door.
Darkness there and nothing more.

Methought I was mistaken
A fool I was to be frightened
I turned on the light, the bathroom brightened
There stood a mouse against my wall.

I took off my dirty slipper
And threw it at the little creature
But not an eyelash did it fluttered
Standing still on my bathroom floor,
And uttered the words “Nevermore.”
I thought it somewhat spooky
To have a mouse so tiny
Settled there on my bathroom floor,
With such a name as “Never More.”

Though my fears were a bit stronger
I took off my other slipper
And aimed it at the creature
Throwing it somewhat harder than before
Quoth the creature, “Nevermore!”

My slipper hit it on the head
It’s death was instantly met
So seeing the creature dead
I sighed and closed the door.

Suddenly there came another sound
Opening the door, I found
One rodent I counted
Standing where the dead one was before.
He whispered the words “Nevermore.”

I asked myself “What happened?”
My sanity must be broken
I had eaten too much chicken
This morning at my uncle George’s.

Standing there I pondered
Then reaching down to get my slippers
Again I threw them at the creature
Knocking it against the wall.
Screamed the creature “Nevermore!”

From the back of the house
Appeared a little mouse
Toward me he scuttled across the floor.
I quickly shut the bathroom door.

From the other side I heard clawing
Then there came sounds of knawing
I thought the door was shaking
Then there was silence once more.
To listen I leaned against the door.

And then to my dismay
The rusted screws gave away
To the law of gravity I obeyed
Down I fell to the dirty floor.

They were all over me!
As if the devil had been set free
In no way could I get up and flee
Helpless I laid on the floor.
Roared the creatures “NEVER MORE!”

I woke up to a ray of sun beam
And realized it was all a dream
But somehow, so real it seemed
Suddenly I heard the creaking of a door.
In agony, I shrieked “Never more!”

Never more.

[Huey]

AND NOW! Some elegant sophisticated lyrics to enrich the learned atmosphere of this gathering of great minds, to contribute to the educational and masterful content of this site ,a little piece by our old pals from Limey Land:

The PENIS Song

*ahem*

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's SWELL to OWN a STIFFY
It's divine to own a dick!
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
Three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hurray for your one eye trouser snake.
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your percy or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons!
You can stuff it in a sock!
But don't take it out in public or they'll stick you in the dock
And You won't,
Come,
Back.

Thank you, thank you very much.

---

[Orbiting]

Hemingway Never Did This

I read that he lost a suitcase full of manuscripts on a
train and that they never were recovered.
I can't match the agony of this
but the other night I wrote a 3-page poem
upon this computer
and through my lack of diligence and
practice
and by playing around with commands
on the menu
I somehow managed to erase the poem
forever.
believe me, such a thing is difficult to do
even for a novice
but I somehow managed to do
it.

now I don't think this 3-pager was immortal
but there were some crazy wild lines,
now gone forever.
it bothers more than a touch, it's some-
thing like knocking over a good bottle of
wine.

and writing about it hardly makes a good
poem.
still, I thought somehow you'd like to
know?

if not, at least you've read this far
and there could be better work
down the line.

let's hope so, for your sake
and
mine.

-- Charles Bukowski

[John Betjeman]

There were two brothers called Huey and Vinny
Each had two navels, one outie one inny
Of this they were proud
Oft declaring it out loud
till they found the outie was in fact a weenie

[John Betjeman]

There was an Aussie called mackay
Whos posts on GL caught my eye
Then I got to see her pic
It made my grow thick
I better stop here, goodbye

[John battyman]

there was a lady called luminous
whose beauty alaways causes as fuss
so she hid herself away
tapped at her keyboard all day
so much the better for all of us

[Bearitall]

Beartalon was a Gler for many a year
His wit and wisdom a thing to fear
His arguments so precise
No need to hear them twice
We're so lucky to have him here

[Guest]

Sylphish to the GL is new
a welcome addition she is too
her face so pretty, her eyes so bright
The kinda girl with whom I wanna spend the night
Sylphish do you fancy me too?

alternative last line:

Sylphish do you fancy a screw?

[John Betjeman]

There was a daft Gler, Will, I think, was his name
Then he left the forum and things just weren't the same
his ill-informed posting
often ended in a roasting
but now he's gone there's just no one left to flame

[Poor OST]

[Guest]

i_h8_evil_stuff
is a puff

[Critic]

Wow! The standard is really dropping!

[John battyman]

There is a man called Chuck
With girls he always has no luck
His has grey hair and his eyes are dim
Who on earth could fancy him
Will no one give a him a charity....

[Beartalon]

This is not for, to, or about anyone. It came out of my head fully formed a few minutes ago.

What love is this?
I'd like to know
Where does it start?
Where does it go?

I want to feel
It once again
Within my soul
But will it end?

Please tell my heart
That love is near
Enrich my life
With words sincere

Don't leave me in
This state of mind
Where I am weak
And feeling blind

Encircle me
In arms of love
Let kisses rain
From up above

Please hold my hand
While I hold yours
Let tears of joy
Flow in their course

I so desire
Such love divine
When I am yours
And you are mine

[i_h8_evil_stuff]

We are born to this earth.
Like pie in my belly.
One day it will leave.
And come out smelly.

Divine
Golden pastry is so sweet.
Its texture is divine.
If I keep on scheming.
The pie will soon be mine.

Burnt pie!
Decay!
Burnt pie!
Oh my eyes.
When they see burnt pies...
They change in size!
Oh those pies!
Those burnt pies!
Why?

Hm. I guess they sound better here: http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/poet.htm
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[knightshade]

Three limericks for ya:



There was a young lady of Crewe
Whose limericks stopped at line two.



There was a young man of Verdun






-k

[The Ragin' South Asian]

Yo, VIP, Let's kick it!

Ice Ice Baby, Ice Ice Baby
All right stop, Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo -- I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.

Dance, Bum rush the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it, You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye, The kid don't play
If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla

Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in, the Vegas are pumpin'
Quick to the point, to the point no faking
I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon
Burning them if they're not quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin' in my 5.0
With my ragtop down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby, Waving just to say Hi
Did you stop? No -- I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block
That block was dead

Yo -- so I continued to A1A Beachfront Ave.
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out geting mine
Shay with a gauge and Vanilla with a nine
Reading for the chumps on the wall
The chumps acting ill because they're so full of "Eight Ball"
Gunshots ranged out like a bell
I grabbed my nine -- All I heard were shells
Falling on the concrete real fast
Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed
I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack
Police on the scene, You know what I mean
They passed me up, confronted all the dope fiends
If there was a problem, You, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla

Take heed, 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town, that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed, This is a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay plays on the fade, slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast, Other DJs say, "damn"
If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem, Yo -- I'll solve it!
Check out the hook while Deshay revolves it.

Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla

Yo man -- Let's get out of here! Word to your mother!

Ice Ice Baby Too cold, Ice Ice Baby Too cold Too cold
Ice Ice Baby Too cold Too cold, Ice Ice Baby Too cold Too cold
-Vanilla Ice

[doormouse11]

Spring and Fall: To a Young Child
Gerard Manley Hopkins

Márgarét, are you gríeving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?
eáves, líke the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Ah! ás the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder
By and by, nor spare a sigh
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
And yet you wíll weep and know why.
Now no matter, child, the name:
Sórrow's spríngs áre the same.
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed
What heart heard of, ghost guessed:
It ís the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.

[Mackay]

My favourite poem when I was a kiddie!

CAT! - Eleanor Farjeon

Cat!
Scat!
Atter her, atter her,
Sleeky flatterer,
Spitfire chatterer,
Scatter her, scatter her
Off her mat!
Wuff!
Wuff!
Treat her rough!
Git her, git her,
Whiskery spitter!
Catch her, catch her,
Green-eyed scratcher!
Slathery
Slithery
Hisser,
Don't miss her!
Run till you're dithery,
Hithery
Thithery
Pfitts! pfitts!
How she spits!
Spitch! Spatch!
Can't she scratch!
Scritching the bark
Of the sycamore-tree,
She's reached her ark
And's hissing at me
Pfitts!Pfitts!
Wuff! Wuff!
Scat,
Cat!
That's
That!

[Mackay]

I asked my friend casinopete
whether later online we could meet.
"I'll be there", he said,
but he's sleeping instead!
How utterly mean and unl33t.

*pokes cp repeatedly*

[Ningal]

Brief Return
by Juan Ramón Jiménez
translated from the Spanish by Charles Guenther

How did you feel, my God, how was your day?
(Deceitful heart and indecisive mind!)
Oh, was it like the blowing of the wind
Or did it seem as if spring had flown away?

As superficial, frivolous and light
As floating summer seed...with nothing after!
Indefinite as a smile that's lost in laughter...
Putting on airs, like a proud flag in flight!

Flag, smile, and floating seed - all have the same
Short life as June's fresh breezes...Oh how mad
Your festival while it lasted, yet how sad!

For you change into nothing everything
(Memory's a blind bee with a bitter sting!)
I don't know what you were, but that you came!

[Moose]

Q and A

What exactly is a thesaurus?

A thesaurus is like a thousand
reunions, all in the same hotel, but each
one in a separate ballroom. A dictionary,
on the other hand, is like the Army where
everyone lines up for roll call.

Do words have feelings?

Because of one picture, a thousand words
are burdened with low self-esteem.

How can I have a large vocabulary?

Exercise. Start with air, leaf, inch; then
increase slowly. Be patient and careful.
The first time you try incarnadine,
have someone spot you.

Do words die?

Absolutely. I remember the funeral
of a go-go. She looked completely natural
in her black boots, mini-skirt, and fringed
blouse.

How can I remember the parts of speech?

Picture a fancy restaurant: an adjective
lights the cigarette of a noun. Two adverbs
accompany a verb to the rest room. An
article holds the door; a preposition hands
the verb a warm hand-towel.


by Ronald Koertge

[austinap]

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
And I'll fogive Thy great big one on me.

-Robert Frost

[jja]

I wrote this one to chide a recalcitrant correspondant...

That what goes up comes down again is known
(Save tons of vapor skimmed from Earth by space,
Each orbit leaving trails of atoms sown
In silent void). I would it were the case
That words when cast returned unto their place,
If sent by 'net or letter or by phone,
Accreting in a soft semantic haze,
Collecting 'til another drop flys down.

If they instead a frigid ellipse trace,
It's fitting still to join what we have thrown
From deep gravitic bowl at fierce pace
To pass each planet and each icy stone
With plate inscribed to indicate our race --
One quiet emissary, stellar prone.
_________________
JJA
"Sancte," inquit, "quare, quaeso, rapis arborem festam?"

[The Mayor]

I got an awesome prom date
The first one I don't hate.
His or her name is Stuie
She or he sure is a cutie!

[The Mayor]

i fall asleep and gaze into your eyes
all i can think about is the sexy smile
as i stroke your massive thighs
loving you might take awhile
but i will try to make it right
when days are long and hard
even when you put up a fight
i wont be like a tub of lard
every time i leave you there
to go to work or the bar
you comb your greasy hair
and know i wont go far
i think i know i will be true
even when we are sad or blue

[Guest]

I once had a kitten
its fur white as chalk
this poem is written
because it was dumb as a rock

While I'm sitting here
reading my mail
it's playing near
hunting its own tail

when all the good cats
would cuddle and purr
mine would chase gnats
and cough up its fur

you may think me a liar
you might say I'm insane
but all I desire
is a cat with a brain

[Antrax]

I'm bored and can't sleep.

Friends! Once I was sad and alone
Bored with the people and ideas I have known
"Is there no hope?" I would tragically moan
Then he came, and the path to me shown.

At first he seemed plain
A nice guy, mundane
Who would often refrain
From appearing too vain

But as time elapsed
This image collapsed
As his meekness has lapsed
It was not meant to last

He turned to be quite a fox
As he'd man the soap box
I thought "hey, this guy rocks!"
Then ate some more lox

His name was casinopete
Which doesn't rhyme with anything
But I'll just hide behind my bilinguality
And make no presumption to quality

He was like a clone
So I wasn't alone
Had ideas like my own
Which allowed me to hone

So now we are happy
This poem is crappy
It started quite snappy
But ended up sappy
_________________
After years of disappointment with get rich quick schemes, I know I'm gonna get rich with this scheme. And quick!

[jesus_saves]

My good friend John is an amazing poet (check out all his stuff here)

Here are some of my favorites:

(unnamed)

Left you down a dark street as
the sunrise moved along,
carrying me with it in
an everlasting dawn.

All I left behind me was
the thing I left to find;
now I sit alone, beside
the sunset in my mind.


Peter 567

My soul's bared against the Son,
spat raged, and bit its tongue.
When it laid itself back down,
it was raised without a sound.

Sent my thoughts away for days.
They have not been seen or missed.
Worries cast upon my God,
broken is my world-wise tryst an-
d broken is my self.


Lorelei

Childhood chaser, chasm dreams
silent, softly, rip my seams.
Torn alone, I drop to cry,
and no one knows, but Lorelei.

Roses hidden under chests,
brilliant red in shadows dressed,
n'ere were seen by damsel-fly--
and no one knew, save Lorelei.

Beaches' sand and breakers' scream
dash away my threadbare dreams,
grounding me in lovetorn eyes--
"and no one knows," says Lorelei.
_________________
³⁸ For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
³⁹ Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord

~Romans 8:38-39

[nobody really]

It's a beautiful day to cut paper
and watch it sprinkle snow-like
from the blades of the scissors.

My only company is the snore of a dog,
silken ears and heaving sides,
flopped unconscious on a couch.

I study my bare toes.
I ought to take a walk.
Ought to love the sun.
Ought to visit someone.

But here I am content,
Alone.

[The Ragin' South Asian]

[Moose]

whoever that was, "nobody really" wrote (or shared) a poem that I liked, if that's worth anything.

thanks

[just a girl]

Thanks -- it was mine

[i_h8_evil_stuff]

"The quill,
the page.
Lyric
rampage.
Word up?"
-Strong Sad
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[Guest]

"Broken My Heart"
-Ikuret Oti (pseudonymn)

For her did I feel love.
Lighten my heart she did
'Til it flew like a dove.

'Tis her did I wish to kiss.
Warm my soul it would,
With a magical bliss.

But my thoughts did I not tell,
And pain it did to my heart
As if gone to hell.

Break it did my heart of a lover,
When her lip I saw
Touch that of another.

[peotathart]

"V cood of bean good" by mi
V cood of bean good
but den u had 2 have a hart of wood
u did dat xtrmly specific ting
dat shoodn't b in a peom since no 1 can
rlate 2 it but mi
y? y did u du it?
i alway did de following tings dat u lieked
made fewd dat u liek
other stouf
y? y?
y did u du it?
v cood of bean good.
"Life" by me
life is sad
life is bad
when life is like this
life makes me mad
angst angst, angst angst
goth imagery
angst

[Jack Crazyquilt]

The author is an Irishman, and yet, somehow, I always end up thinking of Aga when I read this...

A GLASS OF BEER

The lanky hank of a she in the inn over there,
Nearly killed me for asking the loan of a glass of beer;
May the devil grip the whey-faced slut by the hair,
And beat bad manners out of her hide for a year.

That parboiled ape, with the toughest jaw you will see
On virtue's path, and a voice that would rasp the dead,
Came roaring and raging the minute she looked at me,
And threw me out of the house on the back of my head!

If I asked her master he'd give me a cask a day;
But she, with the beer at hand, not a gill would arrange!
May she marry a ghost and bear him a kitten, and may
The High King of Glory permit her to get the mange.

--James Stephens

[Internet Stranger]

Irish, limey, its close enough.
_________________
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