Jokes II

[Travis*]

Hey! It's not Xylax's fault that everyone here is a snob and doesn't appreciate 'shadow ops'!

[mudbuck]

That's because ShadowNinjas is so much better
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1000oclock.com

[Jedo the Jedi]

Totally.
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Paragon Tally: 18 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting.

[Travis*]

This has gone on long enough. ~locks thread~

[Jedo the Jedi]

You already did that.

[Travis*]

I opened it back up.

[mudbuck]

You may have the lock, but not the key. (It's a bad lock.)
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1000oclock.com

[Chuck]

[Naboo]

Did you hear the one about the Jurisprudence fetishist on death row?

He got off on a technicality.


.

_sorry

.

[Mackay]

*narrowly evades coffee-spittage by near-choking to death*

If you're gonna go with the quick bad taste puns...

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?


.

.

...he used a pencil to work it out.

^{Naboo started it! (Possibly that one's been done before anyway?)}

[Dragon Phoenix]

[Elayne]Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww![/Elayne]

[Chuck]

If the IRS had discovered the quadratic formula

[Duke Gnome]

For the Brits:


Directions


1.Start at Your House.

2.Make your way to London Heathrow Airport.

3.Catch flight from London Heathrow to Dallas Fort-Worth Airport.

4.Hire car at Dallas Fort-Worth Airport.

5.Start going toward the "Airport Exit" on "International Parkway South"
follow for 0.2 miles.

6.Bear left onto the highway toward "Terminal East Parking" - follow for
0.3 miles

7.Bear left onto International Parkway North" toward "North Airport Exit" follow for 2.9 miles

8.Take the "Highway 114 west" exit toward "Fort Worth" - follow for 29.2
miles

9.Then continue on US287 north" - follow for 91.1 miles

10."US287 north" becomes "Interstate-44 east" - follow for 0.7 miles

11.Take left fork onto "US-287 north" toward "Vernon" - follow for 104.0
miles

12."US 287 north" becomes "Avenue F (US-287)" - follow for 2.8 miles

13.Continue to follow "US-287 north" - follow for 104.9 miles

14.Take left ramp onto "Interstate 40 west" toward "Dumas" - follow
for 7.8 miles

15.Take "Exit 70" onto "US 60 east" toward "Dumas" - follow for 0.5miles

16.Take the Buchanan Street" exit toward "Dumas/Pampa" - follow for 1.7
miles

17.Turn right onto "Old Route 66 (Interstate 40)" - follow for 0.1 miles

18.Arrive at the centre of "Amarillo, Texas"

Now that's the way to f*cking Amarillo!!!!!!!!
SO CAN EVERYONE STOP SINGING IT NOW

[mith]

[Kd]

My nephew sings that CONSTANTLY.

[/hijack]
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Guess who's back, back again, Kd's back, tell a friend.

[Jedo the Jedi]

Hey! The convention is at Jeep's house, not mine!

Though I would welcome any and all GLers into my home.
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Paragon Tally: 18 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting.

[Courk]

The new happy smilie still freaks me out.

"I would welcome any and all GLers into my home. "
Warm, friendly invitation.

"I would welcome any and all GLers into my home."
...And I will murder them all MWA HA HA HA!!!

[Jedo the Jedi]

Well, it was definitely the second meaning that I was trying to get across because I want to murder the first GLers that I meat. *rolls eyes* Did you catch that?
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Paragon Tally: 18 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting.

[Internet Stranger]

If he has to meat them first, I wouldnt be too worried about anyone.
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"I didn't know she was your sister I swear!"
www.InternetStranger.com

[Digit Ne]

I think it's the eyebrows that make the face so sinister.

[Courk]

Probably. Happy Serial Killer

[Mackay]

This conversation from Jedo's invitation onward - all of it - has caused me to spray my monitor with semi-masticated bits of blueberry muffin.

[Courk]

Mackay, if I'm ever visiting you, I don't think I'm gonna use your computer. It must have a nice, thick layer of pop and muffin crumbs all over the key board.

[Internet Stranger]

Youre welcome to use mine instead.
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"I didn't know she was your sister I swear!"
www.InternetStranger.com

[Mackay]

Pah. It doesn't happen that often, I generally manage to avoid hitting the computer (IS' "meat" comment caught me completely by surprise), or clean it afterward, and most importantly - it's not "pop", it's "soft drink", you infernal Yankee!

[Dmi]

The correct term is 'soda'.

[Mackay]

Oh man... just got the joke in IS' last post. But I didn't spit anything!

[Mackay]

"Soda" is a specific drink. As is "coke". Both are soft drink.

[Samadhi]

Actually, it's "souda"
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And he lived happily ever after. Except for the dieing at the end and the heartbreak in between.

[Dmi]

"coke" is what George W Bush snorts. It's not a drink. "couke" is a drink. "coke" is also a brand name. But it's not a drink.

[Jedo the Jedi]

I'm glad I could start a conversation that would make Mackay spray POP all over her computer.
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Paragon Tally: 18 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting.

[mudbuck]

Such a waste of a Charles Darwin!
"Eh, gurl. Sass me thore sum Charles Darwin, woll yesh?"
_________________
1000oclock.com

[The Ragin' South Asian]

[Internet Stranger]

I always use a sock, that way I keep the computer area clean.
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"I didn't know she was your sister I swear!"
www.InternetStranger.com

[Cadmium]

Lucky bastard!

Not all of us have a wife to fix the toe holes .
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Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words.

[Courk]

Let's just call it soda pop drink.

And the new winky looks like a "what you doin' tonight? Wanna come over to my place?"

You can get a whole murder story in two pictures:

[Mackay]

... ...

I don't know what this story means, but it's hella scary.

[Internet Stranger]

[Jedo the Jedi]

So, the smileys that are actually meant to convey such things as murder ( ) are really just fake? Or do they actually mean what they appear to mean? Courk, could you just give me a breakdown of what each smiley means so I may use them correctly?
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Paragon Tally: 18 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting.

[Courk]

I'm faking happiness
I'm laughing
I'm giddy with excitement
Must... feed... on human... flesh
I'm happy
I'm sad
I'm sad
Umm... oops
I can't believe what I'm seeing
I'm either stunned or angry, it's impossible to tell, for I am Ambiguous Man
I can't believe what I'm seeing, but I've also frozen in place and can't open my mouth. Or all that, but I have lock jaw
Hmmm... I don't know... If I stare at the problem long enough like this, surely an answer will come
What the...?
Although in text I look like a dork, in picture form I am cool. Almost Fonz cool.
I can wiggle my nose like a rabbit
Not only am I mad, I also look a bit like a P.O.ed ninja
Pardon my mouth, I just went to a party at 's house. Some good eatin', there
I stick my tongue out at you
Oh, that's embarassing
You've made me cry.
I am an unhappy devil. I am evil, yet sad. And no one will hug me.
I am a happy devil. Unlike , I was actually invited to 's party. Unlike , I know how to use a napkin.
Oh, Jiminy...
Hey there. How you doin'? Wanna come over to my place? My roomate, , is having a dinner party.
*nudge*
I'm just a glorified exclamation point
Same, but a question mark
Here's an idea!
Which way Batman? This way, Robin!
I am unable to show emotion, but thank God I have a picture. My text version looks a bit like a frog...
I'm on here again. My name is Mr. Green
Ask RSA
RSA's child, again, ask RSA
I have three eyes and am never invited to any parties, but that's OK. I'm happy anyway, with my friend
I live with that three-eyed freak. In a past life, my name was William Wallace. Nice to meet you. Eeeh he he he! *runs around like crazy*
Hmmm... I don't quite know what to make of all this...
I have confusion and depression issues.