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Chaz
Vote: Zag
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 Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:40 pm Post subject: 1 |
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Happy Birthday j_s!
And, now, a joke for your birthday...
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Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They did spreadsheets.
They sent faxes.
They sent email.
They sent email with attachments.
They downloaded files.
They did some genealogy reports.
They created labels and cards.
They did every known job.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency, and Satan was faster than hell.
God got a little bored during this time and started mucking round (as god's do). He was just conjuring up some storms here and there but in doing so acccidentially created a power surge with one too many lighting bolts.
This caused both there screens to go blank. God appoligetically saying "Oops" said "he'll start the test again".
But Satan yelling at his computer and now God, screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Meanwhile Jesus just sighed.
The electricity was finally back on and each of them waited as their computers rebooted. Once loaded Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all GONE! I've lost everything with this stupid power shortage! You idiot God!" Meanwhile Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past two hours.
Satan suddenly observed this and became very irate. Steam whistled out of his ears.
"What the hell! He cheated! How did he do that!?"
God shrugged and said, "Well, Jesus saves." |
Well, there you go. You've probably heard it, but your name always reminds me of it. The end.
_________________
The enemy's base is down. |
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Zag
Unintentionally offensive old coot
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| Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:53 pm Post subject: 2 |
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| Happy birthday, j_s!! |
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wordcross
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| Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:58 pm Post subject: 3 |
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Yay, happy birthday here, too!
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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? |
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MNOWAX
0.999... of a Troll
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| Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:17 pm Post subject: 4 |
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Happy birthday Ms. saves! all i can think is Jesus saves..... after every level. I've forgotten we shared a birthday!
_________________
The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX |
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Jack_Ian
Big Endian
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| Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 3:37 pm Post subject: 5 |
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I'm guessing you want cash instead of gifts then. 
"Lá Breithe Shona Duit", as we say in Ireland.
Happy Birthday!  |
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Zag
Unintentionally offensive old coot
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| Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 3:41 pm Post subject: 6 |
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| The name always makes me think of a hockey announcer. |
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Jack_Ian
Big Endian
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| Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:31 pm Post subject: 7 |
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referee
June 21st, 2004 Member
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| Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 3:27 pm Post subject: 8 |
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Jesus also saves for half damage, for all Dungeons players out there.
Happy belated birthday, j_s!
_________________
Jan 21st, 2008: The pillaging continues.
Mar 4th, 2008: Rest in Peace, Gary Gygax. May your dice always roll a natural 20 wherever you are.
Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today! |
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j_s*
Guest
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| Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 7:59 pm Post subject: 9 |
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Thanks everyone. I had a great birthday and this thread of jokes and well-wishing was excellent icing on the cake (so to speak). 
I actually went climbing with some friends including my office. Here's a picture of all of us on the climbing wall:
From left to right: my minion (and good friend) Marli, my husband Jim, me!, my boss (and surrogate brother), Joe.
It was a blast. |
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Chaz
Vote: Zag
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| Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 8:08 pm Post subject: 10 |
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It might just be the color-blind talking, but Joe is camouflaged!
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The enemy's base is down. |
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