Answers and Questions - Results posted: yes, really!!

[Amb]

I've sent. I rushed them a bit So I dont expect to win.

If you want a volunteer to help collate, then I can do that? I can PM my email to you.

[Undercover Monk]

not to be that guy again but BUMP
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Amb]

If scurra doesn't complain, I can volunteer to take over the scoring of this. I'll give him till Monday to register objections. After that - send your lines to me.

[Undercover Monk]

sounds good to me I dont expect to win this I just enjoy reading all the questions last game cracked me up.
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Scurra]

OK, after far too long, here are the questions submitted.

Scurra: The fourth of July
Hey, guess which day President Calvin Coolidge was born on? 
Ok Riddler, what comes after X? 
On what day does the US government tap its relief supply of Ketchup?
What ith the thpecial ability a Jedi uses in the thummer? 
When did the Brit seek revenge? 
When did you get out of jail for killing that whooping Crane?
When did you get your hair cut so short?
When do Brits celebrate losing their Virginianity?
When was the last time, you had any 'fireworks' with your wife? 
Why are all the Americans lighting themselves on fire? 

MNOWAX: Because the last time, I wasn't as drunk
How come Top GL'er is going so slow? 
How come you panicked the last time you operated on such a dangerous brain tumor? 
I was sure that last time you made more mistakes, what happened? 
Last time, you said you didn't love me, and now you say you do, what changed? 
Why did you agree to go out with me this time? 
Why did you bring your own bottle of wine to the communion service? 
Why did you only run 9.63 seconds this time?
Why did you sleep with a picture of Walter Mondale this time?
Why is this modernist painting so much better then the last one you made? 
Why is your second marriage better? 

lexprod: Because now it matches the drapes!
New wig? 
What's the new marketing slogan for Clairol Quarter-dose Hair Color? 
Why did you get your man bit dyed blue? 
Why did you have the window painted black? 
Why did you spill wine all over the white carpet? 
Why did you kill your friend and slop all of his blood on the carpet?
Why did you vomit on the carpet? 
Why have you ripped holes in the wallpaper?
Why on earth would you get your manhood waxed? 
Why are you smearing goat blood and bat guano on your walls? 

Dented Ford: White lines
How did you know I fell asleep in the lounger by the picket fence? 
So, God, how are you going to make the zebra look different from the horse? 
What belongs on a glass coffee table? 
What do you call Bary, Jack and Alan in a queue for the Airport?
What does a racist have in common with a road? 
What does a road tell to cover up it's mistakes?
What does Vanilla Ice use to pick up chicks at bars? 
What is Charlie Sheen's favorite part of the highway? 
What is the most useful feature in a parking lot? 
What is the only thing a vampire Lindsey Lohan see in a mirror? 

Amb: Having two is much better than one
How is a drink like an ear?
I have heard people say that it is better than a hole in the head, but why would you get two. 
If my boat is sinking, should I make another hole to let the water out? 
Mrs Smith, why did you marry conjoined twins? 
What do lungs, eyes, and bicycle wheels have in common? 
Why did you catch the second bird? 
Why do you have a photo the Olsen twins?
Why have you got a second Easter Island head in your back yard?
Why was the blond afraid of having a "boob job"? 
You told us yesterday, that you were at the theatre when the murder occured. Now you say Dentist. What's up with your alibis? 

3iff: A rod, a pole and a perch.
I'm making a "Who wants to be a millionaire" quiz. Can you give me 3 good false answers to "A measurement based on the King's anatomy"? 
What did Rod Stewart and Loretta Swit call their sea food restaurant? 
Name three things that Rachael Hunter liked to hold? 
What are three euphemisms for my little friend? 
what are three items that you enjoy having with you when making whoopie?
What did the angler come home with?
What has my boy got in his pockets? 
What have you got if Alex Rodriquez and Carl Yastrzemski share a freshwater fish? 
What's the best measure of a successful East European fisherman? 
Where did the bird sit? 

jack_ian: A. It's that new dog-food diet I'm on.
Did you know that you look quite fetching in that new dress? 
How many times do I have to tell you to stop doing that?
What is bringing out the spring in your step? 
Why are there bloody dog collars all around your kitchen? 
Why are you sniffing THAT disgusting thing? 
Why do you keep trying to sniff my butt? 
Wow! How did you jump that high to grab that Frisbee?
Wow! You really need to shave, what is going on? 
You look great, but why are you sniffing everyone's butts? 

Jack_Ian, is there a reason you re-registered as Jack_Russell? 
jack_ian: A. It's that new dog-food diet I'm on. 
...So, why did you register Jack_off? 
<no answer> 


Courk: 24, but only on Tuesdays.
Can you do pushups? 
Holy Crap, Courk, how many White Castle Crave Cases can you consume?
How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? 
How many hours do you work? 
How many times is it appropriate to say "Ruby" in a day? 
No, really, how old are you? 
The new Fall schedule – Touch, but only on Mondays and...
What's your extension number in your new government job? 
What's your favourite tv show and when do you watch it? 
Why do you keep quoting Captain Kirk?

MatthewV: You bet your beige-colored buttocks I did!
Did you agree to play in that strip poker tournament?
Did you ever use that bargain tanning salon I recommended? 
Did you just bite your toe nails? 
Did you plan all along on making a "yo' mama" joke? 
Did you really wear nothing but chaps to the halloween party?
Did you show up naked to casual friday? 
Did you use me as practice for the annual paint by numbers contest while I was asleep? 
MatthewV, was it you that registered Jack_off? 
So, did you have a go at Scurra's Answers and Questions game? 
You catch that Piggers game last night? 

The Great Crep'er: There's no time for that, we've got a kidney to save!
Do you need a martini Hawkeye? 
Do you really think we can enjoy this wonderful lemonade?
Doctor, shouldn't we be teaching that brain about financial investments? 
Doctor, shouldn't you recount the surgical sponges? 
Doctors will you look at my kid’sarm I think he broke it? [sic]
Hey look, the McRib is back! 
I'm new here doc, can I follow you to the theatre? 
Is that ruby red lipstick she is wearing? 
Shall we start filming 'Weekend at Bernies 67'? 
Wait a moment – isn't that a rather forlorn looking steak?

Zag: The immense gravitational force
In what way is a black hole like yo' mama? 
What brings my foot and his face together?
What brings us to your mom's house? 
What is it that causes so many brilliant people to visit the Grey Labyrinth? 
What causes a star to ignite? 
What really sucks?
Why are you so attracted to your fiance? 
Why do people keep voting Obama? 
Why do you think your mother in law is at the center of a black hole? 
Why does everything I eat go straight to my thighs? 

Mackay: When the count reaches 25.
Are we there yet? 
How do you know when Wednesday is here? 
How many times can you fake doing THAT! 
How much longer do we have to defuse the fecal bomb?
How will we know when your clock is broken? 
My lord of Monte Cristo, when should your son get married? 
When do I level up? 
When do we fire the tertiary redundant rocket boosters?
When should we NOT throw the Holy Hand Grenade of Arimethea? 
When will you admit to being a slut? 

itisally: Because you have to be able to find things.
Darling, why do you insist on leaving the lights on? 
Why are those binoculars strapped to your head? 
Why are you carrying a key around with you? Oh, wait, you said “find” things.
Why do adults always ask kids to be cleaner? (yes my kid asked this) 
Why do blondes refuse to use sun-screen? 
Why do you have a stud finder finder? 
Why do you use a search engine? 
Why does your stealth suit have a flashlight? 
Why is "pronounced ability to spot surgical sponges" on the required skills list? 
Why is your keys, gun and your milk all colored neon Pink?

Undercover Monk: It's better if you don't ask?
Do you always answer questions with a question? 
Do you think I should ask my wife if I can ask our waitress out for coffee? 
How often do you do that in public?
If frogs had wings would they bump their butts when they jump?
Is that a gun in your pocket?
What response is guaranteed to get a reporter's attention?
When did you start answering with questions? 
Why are your underpants on inside out and outside your pants?
Why does no one ever submit their questions when we play this game? 
Why does your stealth suit has a "vibrate" setting?


So, PM me with the question you like best for each answer. Hopefully I will have the results for this before Top GL'er comes to an end, or the universe implodes, whichever is the sooner.
_________________
_{still Quiz Olympiad champion. Must get a life.
New definitions: COFFEE - someone who is coughed upon}

[3iff]

Choices sent. Some tricky decisions.

[Zag]

For one of them (only one, I think), I like my own answer best. Are you allowed to vote for your own?

[3iff]

Of course not...otherwise everyone will vote for their own entries. (just my opinion...)

[Scurra]

No, voting for your own entries is definitely out. I shall not include any self-voting in the final tally.
_________________
_{still Quiz Olympiad champion. Must get a life.
New definitions: COFFEE - someone who is coughed upon}

[Jack_Ian]

Choices sent.

[Undercover Monk]

sent
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Amb]

I couldnt remember which ones were mine (some I did), so If I did self vote - it was unintentional. Can you moan at me via PM if I did.

[itisally]

Amb, I had the same problem. Then I thougth how depressing it would be if I couldn't remember and I didn't think any of mine were best. lol
_________________
I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong.

[Jack_Ian]

Did I win?

[Scurra]

Thanks for the prod. I prodded a couple of people who haven't voted but no reply, so I'll try and sort the spreadsheet out tonight.
_________________
_{still Quiz Olympiad champion. Must get a life.
New definitions: COFFEE - someone who is coughed upon}

[Undercover Monk]

Results BUMP
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[itisally]

bumpity bump bump
_________________
I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong.

[Undercover Monk]

and a bump bump for you too sir
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Amb]

Answer: "What if we were all naked?"

[Scurra]

OK, I made a massively stupid mistake when compiling the questions and votes, and as a result I need to do the whole thing again (I accidentally deleted who actually submitted which questions.)
And I'd been putting off redoing it all but I've clearly let it lie too long.

So I'm in the middle of sorting it out again.
_________________
_{still Quiz Olympiad champion. Must get a life.
New definitions: COFFEE - someone who is coughed upon}

[Scurra]

So, there were 14 questions, 10 sets of answers and 9 sets of votes.

The clear question champions

Undercover Monk: Why is a drink like an ear? (6)
Having two is much better than one.

lexprod: What are three euphemisms for my little friend? (6)
A rod, a pole and a perch.

Scurra: What really sucks? (6)
The immense gravitational force.

UM: Did you use me as practice for the annual paint by numbers contest while I was asleep? (6)
You bet your beige-colored buttocks I did!

The mid-table answers

The Potter: Why is your second marriage better? (5)
Because the last time, I wasn't as drunk.

Scurra: When did the Brits lose their Virginianity? (4)
The fourth of July. (Note: I genuinely didn't think of this terrible pun until I was compiling my questions.)

MNOWAX: Wow! How did you jump that high to grab that Frisbee? (4)
It's that new dog-food diet I'm on.

The Potter: Do you need a martini Hawkeye? (4)
There's no time for that, we've got a kidney to save!

Lexprod: How will we know when your clock is broken? (4)
When the count reaches 25.

The marginal winners:

Jack_Ian: How did you know I fell asleep in the lounger by the picket fence? (3)
White lines.

Lexprod: How many times is it appropriate to say "Ruby" in a day? (3)
24, but only on Tuesdays.

Lexprod: Why does your stealth suit have a flashlight? (3)
Because you have to be able to find things.
MNOWAX: Why is your keys, gun and your milk all colored neon Pink? (3)
Because you have to be able to find things.

The real undecideds:

Because now it matches the drapes!
itisally: Why did you spill wine all over the white carpet? (2)
Because now it matches the drapes!
3iff: Why did you vomit on the carpet? (2)
Because now it matches the drapes!
Amb: Why did you get your man bit dyed blue? (2)
Because now it matches the drapes!
Scurra: Why have you ripped holes in the wallpaper? (2)
Because now it matches the drapes! (anyone who has owned a cat will understand this one...)

And finally, the most divisive answer of all: It's better if you don't ask?
Every single question earned one vote!
...except for “If frogs had wings would they bump their butts when they jump?” (sorry itisally)


Final voting results table:

Undercover Monk 24 (deserved winner, with two clear favourite answers)
Lexprod 23
The Potter 16 (however, one vote was for his own answer!)
Scurra 15
Jack_Ian 12
MNOWAX 11
3iff 9
Zag 7
Amb 6
itisally 3


I will post a link to the full results sheet later.

Thanks for playing - and thanks for your immense patience in waiting for me to get around to sorting this out. Remind me never to run a game again.
_________________
_{still Quiz Olympiad champion. Must get a life.
New definitions: COFFEE - someone who is coughed upon}

[itisally]

Its funny because That is just a saying around our house... Usually a smart ass one.

I never do well at this type of game, much like the sheeps, I kind of pride myself on being a little diffrent.
_________________
I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong.

[Undercover Monk]

Yay I won =D I did poorly last time so Im super excited to make people laugh now where is Mackay with that hilarious post of every question and winning answer like before
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Zag]

Grats, UMonk!

Thanks, Scurra, for running it!