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| Who will hit the most bombs? |
| bgg1996 |
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| Jedo the Jedi |
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| MNOWAX |
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| Quailman |
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| raekuul |
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| The Potter |
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| Sentran |
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| lexprod |
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| Total Votes : 4 |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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 Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:08 pm Post subject: 1 |
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| Jedo the Jedi in the previous Cannonball Run wrote: |
| Anyway, it was definitely fun and ultimately pretty easy using my method. I probably won't do another one, but I'm glad to have finished this one and finally know the winner. |
I'm a glutton for punishment. What can I say? For those of you concerned with how this will affect Roll to Dodge, I assure you it will not. That will have priority as it is expected that this game will take a while.
The Cannonball Run is a race across the United States. This year will have a seafood flair, as the contest will go from Bayside Marketplace at 401 Biscayne Boulevard R106, Miami, FL to the Pike Place Market, 85 Pike Street #500, Seattle, WA. I hope you all like fresh fish!
This is a single submission game! In a PM to me, each player should give me the exact directions their car will take from the beginning address to the ending address. YOU MUST USE GOOGLE MAPS. Some additional rules:
1) You do not need to fill up on gas or sleep. The cars are electric, can drive for a month without recharging, and play nothing but "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers to keep you awake.
2) Cars will travel at set speeds:
Interstate - 100mph
U.S. Highway - 75mph
State & County Highway - 50mph
Surface Streets - 25mph
3) Where there is not a specific highway designation, toll roads are the only roads which will be counted as "interstates." Turnpikes will be counted as "state highways."
4) If a player took a "business route," the speed will be downgraded to the highest, in-town designation.
5) When multiple cars are on the same road at the same time (even if one is on I-5 in Washington and one is on I-5 in California), their speeds are divided by the number of cars on that road. If they are on the same road at different times, there is no penalty.
6) In the case of overlapping road identifications, only the highest will be taken. If two roads of the same level overlap, both will be counted when considering speed of shared roads.
7) Cars may place three "Cannonballs" at any intersection along their route (although Cannonballs may not be placed in the states of Florida or Washington). Any car that subsequently runs over a Cannonball is delayed for 5 hours making repairs.
8) Cannonballs are placed instantaneously. Thus, if two cars happen to be traveling side-by-side, the bombed car will be affected.
9) If a car is delayed by a Cannonball, they will be considered to be on the side of the road and therefore not affecting the speed of that road.
10) Cars may not violate rules of the road (i.e. wrong way down a one-way street, shortcuts across farmland).
11) Intentional efforts to make computation difficult on me (i.e. ferries through the Panama Canal, spinning through a D.C. roundabout for 45 minutes, multiple trips down Lombard Street, etc.) may result in arbitrary and embarrassing penalties.
12) The Royal Canadian Mounted Police were afraid to have the race in their country, and are threatening harm with retired professional wrestlers and Justin Beiber music. Any racer in Canada will be trampled by a horse, then put in a submission hold.
13) I could not get permission to conduct this race through Mexico, and the Federales have threatened to shoot any racers on sight.
14) First car to arrive at the destination wins.
15) Watch out for any errors I may make in routes, this is a daunting task, and I may make some mistakes.
If there are any additional questions, let get them out of the way now, and I'll update the rules. This is single entry in the sense that you have nothing further to do once your route has been submitted, but I urge some careful thought be put into your route.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting.
Last edited by Jedo the Jedi on Fri Jun 07, 2013 11:52 am; edited 12 times in total |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:09 pm Post subject: 2 |
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Reserved in case I need it.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:14 pm Post subject: 3 |
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I encourage you to enter. It takes almost no work for you to submit, and a ton of work for me. Don't worry though. As long as I finish this within six months, I will feel that it has gone better than both of the last two.
This time around, I will try to give regular updates so people can see the progress of the racers. Hopefully this will generate anticipation and interest. Heck, you can even place bets along the way. (Come to think of it, that might be a pretty good side game...)
I will probably cap the players at 12, though I don't expect there actually to be that many interested participants. I do expect that Quailman will return to defend his title, and I hope MNO will take a chance this time. I will be preparing my submission before viewing others'.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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Sentran
Ray of Sucking Funshine
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 6:33 pm Post subject: 4 |
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What the heck, <in>. Here's my car:
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Sentran
"Speaking of double negatives, I haven't read greylab yet today." - Lifeinmomland |
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MNOWAX
0.999... of a Troll
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 6:43 pm Post subject: 5 |
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After how you took over for me on the last one, I would be a fool NOT to enter.
I didn't enter my own because i had already looked at a submission before i prepped myself. I'll be running this...
_________________
The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX |
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Quailman
His Postmajesty
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:21 pm Post subject: 6 |
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Here's my ride:
I'll send my route shortly. No one will catch me in this bad boy, though no one caught me in my 1980 Plymouth Horizon TC3 last time. 
Last edited by Quailman on Sun Jan 06, 2013 5:02 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 8:48 pm Post subject: 7 |
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I typed "awesome car" into Google, and this was the first image. I will be driving it.
Already it's fun to see how my thinking lined up with other players'. 
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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raekuul
Lives under a bridge & tells stories.
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 10:44 pm Post subject: 8 |
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| Eh, why not? I'll give this a try as well. |
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bgg1996
BeeGees are awesome!
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 11:29 pm Post subject: 9 |
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I'll be riding in this (or at least a scaled down version so it fits on the roads)
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The one member below 18 |
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Amb
Amb the Hitched.
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| Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 10:16 am Post subject: 10 |
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| The last one actually finished? |
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The Potter
Feat of Clay
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| Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 11:10 am Post subject: 11 |
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I'll remove my extra destination if you want 
_________________
Artwork | Fractals | Don't ignore your dreams; don't work too much; say what you think; cultivate friendships; be happy. |
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The Potter
Feat of Clay
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:51 pm Post subject: 13 |
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| Amb wrote: |
| The last one actually finished? |
I'm disappointed in you Amb.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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lexprod
NOT not a title
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| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 3:29 am Post subject: 14 |
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Can't be worse than my cliffhanging-mod of two games currently. Finishing timeline today btw and watching the end of survivor.
I choose to drive in the Aquabat's Battletram, route calculated by Jimmy The Robot. MC Bat Commander is not allowed to drive, he stops for burgers every 30 minutes.
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I'll have a P please... |
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raekuul
Lives under a bridge & tells stories.
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| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 12:11 pm Post subject: 15 |
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And here I thought I was the only one here who watched that channel...
Anyway, since I can't find the vehicle I was looking for, I'll go with a real-life equivalent.
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Zag
Unintentionally offensive old coot
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| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 6:27 pm Post subject: 16 |
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I'm thinking of entering, using this
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Sentran
Ray of Sucking Funshine
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:36 am Post subject: 17 |
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| Zag wrote: |
I'm thinking of overcompensating, using this
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Fixed
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Sentran
"Speaking of double negatives, I haven't read greylab yet today." - Lifeinmomland |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:03 pm Post subject: 18 |
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Those of you who haven't submitted your travel plans, please do so...sometime. There's no real rush at present, but the more I have already, the more prep I can do when I have little bits of time.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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Quailman
His Postmajesty
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| Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 12:24 am Post subject: 19 |
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| Did I win yet? |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:05 am Post subject: 20 |
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| me, above wrote: |
| As long as I finish this within six months, I will feel that it has gone better than both of the last two. |
Is it June 3 yet? Snarky, sassy, no-good, arrogant winner...
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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lexprod
NOT not a title
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| Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 3:25 pm Post subject: 21 |
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I'll be working through this week, so earliest is probbaly saturday
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I'll have a P please... |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 5:14 pm Post subject: 22 |
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There really is no rush. I'm not planning to put any effort into this until February since I'm writing two papers this week in advance of moving across town next week. I'll send out a final call when I get close to being ready to start calculating.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 9:57 pm Post subject: 23 |
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I'm almost finished copying everybody's routes into my spreadsheet, so if you would like to join, send me your route.
Deadline: February 22 @ 5:00pm ET
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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lexprod
NOT not a title
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:05 am Post subject: 24 |
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sent
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I'll have a P please... |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:17 am Post subject: 25 |
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I have completed uploading all of the directions into my spreadsheet. I need to double-check them all to ensure consistency, then the game will begin. I hope to get at least the first part of the race (you know, where everybody is going 3mph  ) up this weekend.
I will have polls up periodically to spice up the game and keep things interesting.
Thank you for the submissions. If you still wish to play, there's just less than 12 hours to get your submission in my inbox.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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lexprod
NOT not a title
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| Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 9:13 am Post subject: 26 |
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WOOOOOOOOOOOO ROAD TRIP
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I'll have a P please... |
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Quailman
His Postmajesty
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| Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 2:36 pm Post subject: 27 |
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VROOM VROOM!!!  |
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MNOWAX
0.999... of a Troll
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| Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 4:29 pm Post subject: 28 |
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Do you know thatI'm driving the fastest production car...IN THE WORLD...? you all don't even have a chance.
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The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX |
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Jedo*
Guest
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| Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:34 pm Post subject: 29 |
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By "this weekend" I meant 3 weekends from that time. 
I was side-tracked by midterms, but reading week (the academic's "Spring Break") is coming up. I have only three more routes to check. Considering two of them are very similar to Sentran's route--the easiest, thank God!--it shouldn't take me much longer to get the first bit up. No promises on dates this time though. |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:48 am Post subject: 30 |
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Ha! I have made the very first calculation. I will make the preliminary post, chronicling the start and first bit of the race, soon.
The race is on! Vote in the poll who you think will win the whole damn thing.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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MNOWAX
0.999... of a Troll
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| Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:59 am Post subject: 31 |
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I voted for me, because I'm confident in my route. Whomever else voted for me, you put your money on a good horse.
_________________
The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX |
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The Potter
Feat of Clay
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| Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 5:21 am Post subject: 32 |
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I am confident I will not win.
_________________
Artwork | Fractals | Don't ignore your dreams; don't work too much; say what you think; cultivate friendships; be happy. |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 7:50 pm Post subject: 33 |
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Welcome to the 2nd Annual GL Cannonball Run: Fish Frenzy! The spectators are in for a big treat as they watch the racers travel from Bayside Marketplace in Miami, FL, to Pike Place Market in Seattle, WA. If you don't like the smell of fish, this probably isn't the race for you.
Now to meet the contestants!
Our returning champion, Quailman, will this year be racing in an upgraded car.
| Quote: |
| No sense in pressing my luck with that ol' hunk-a-junk. This year I'm going big, bad, and bold. |
That's nice. What are you going to do about that bird poop on the hood?
Our next contestant came in second last year, though nearly a full day behind the Champion. Welcome lexprod in his RV!
| Quote: |
| No, that's the Battletram. It's way cooler. |
It looks just like an RV. If there's a table that turns into a bed inside, then it's an RV.
| Quote: |
| It's for space-saving purposes... |
You may not recognize our third contestant since he's had an entire makeover since last year. Welcome, The Potter! I see you are going environmentally friendly this year.
| Quote: |
| It's part of my new look. I'm all about love, peace, and air. |
That's great. Maybe make sure you don't take a break next to a playground.
The fourth contestant finished abysmally last year, taking nearly twice as long as the Champion. This year though, his new car is designed to weather the elements and fit through tight spaces. Give it up for raekuul!
| Quote: |
| I've got a whole new plan this year: don't get last! |
I suppose that's a worthy goal, though you could still place 7th which wouldn't exactly be a step up.
Our fifth contestant attempted the oversight of last year's revival of the Cannonball Run, and after seeing how frustrating being the director was, he decided to sit back and travel 3000 miles across the country instead. Welcome, MNOWAX!
| Quote: |
| They call that thing the Blue Bullet. After watching the other players last year, I've learned what it takes to win, and I'm gonna do it. I've already bet the car, my dog, and my first child that I will win. |
Won't that be something to add to the proposal? "Honey, we have to name our first child 'Caesar's Palace.'"
Our sixth contestant is another first-timer who pretty much already made the Cannonball Run on his way to the starting line. How are you enjoying the Florida weather, Sentran?
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| Well, it gives me an opportunity to ride with the top down and not risk getting rain on the leather. |
You might want to park farther away from Quailman if you don't want to get bird shit on the seats. He seems to be having quite a bit of trouble with those gulls.
| Quote: |
| This is not your fish taco! Get away from my car! I just cleaned the hood! |
Our seventh contestant is joining us from the European circuit. That's the only way we can figure someone who doesn't even have their driver's license entered the Run. Welcome, bgg1996!
| Quote: |
| I'm old enough to drive in America, but that doesn't matter since I won't really be using the road. |
You still have to obey the rules of the Run, and no using those cannons for other than your allotted bombs.
Finally, I also will be making the Run in this sweet car paid for with company funds.
Wait. What the hell is this?! I said I wanted an awesome car. I can't drive around in this! It's a pink cat.
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| Sir, it's called "the awesome car." It's exactly what you requested. |
Awesome by whose definition?! Your six-year-old daughter? Memo to self: fire that guy.
Now that we've got everybody lined up and ready to go, make sure you've taken a leak, rev your engines, and let's get the 2nd Annual Cannonball Run started!
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:07 pm Post subject: 34 |
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ANNND…….THEY’RE OFF!
12:00:00a-12:30:00a
It's a grueling 3.125 mph start down a one-way street heading away from the direction of Seattle. Who exactly planned this race?
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| That was me, Sir. I really like the scenic view as you head onto the island. |
Well, you're fired. This isn't about scenery. This is about racing. Now we'll have to wait for all of them to turn around before they can separate.
15 minutes later
I see we have somebody breaking away from the pack...to make another loop. lexprod, what are you thinking?
| Quote: |
| I just love the scenic view so much, and those guys were in my way last time around. |
He must not understand the object of the game.
In the meantime, the other racers are pulling away. After only 30 minutes, we're seeing Quailman and The Potter veer north on US-1, and it seems lexprod figured out what he is doing. He's only seconds behind them. However, the other five racers are still jammed on the surface street at a 5 mph crawl. This is riveting television.
| Quote: |
| Sir, Jeff Probst is on the line for you. |
Probably calling to rub it in that his show is more successful. Arrogant bastard.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:11 pm Post subject: 35 |
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I will try to put up more similar maps as periodic updates. I figure most of the race is pretty boring, so it will only be of important moments, and especially if there are any successful bomb placements. Expect a few more here at the beginning when there is little-to-no separation.
As we near the Florida border, I'll put up a poll so you can vote who you think will be the first casualty.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:26 am Post subject: 36 |
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12:30:00a-12:45:00a
Now we're cooking along! I've got my in-dash screens showing me the different parts of the race. Hopefully I can manage to drive and host at the same time. This crowded street sure isn't helping things though. Get your RV off the road!
| Quote: |
| It's a Battleram, you waste of space! See how you like it in action! |
SCREEEEECH!
Good thing we're only going 20 mph. That could really have hurt me otherwise. Then who would announce?
Quailman and The Potter strike out north on separate streets. Quailman, you are definitely speeding faster than the rest of us. What's the rush?
| Quote: |
| I've got to get to my friend's body shop in North Florida. I can't drive around with this bird shit on my hood. |
You do know we're in the middle of a race, don't you? I think there are a few things more important than the exterior of your car.
lexprod and raekuul don't follow I-95 like the rest of the bunch. Maybe they know something we don't.
| Quote: |
| Whooo! Free Gator Bites for all drivers on FL-836! |
Damn.
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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Jedo the Jedi
Paragon in Training
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| Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:28 am Post subject: 37 |
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I know it's hard to differentiate the colors well, but the map is mostly just to give you an idea of what the narration is. At this point in the race, everybody is still pretty close.
I'll post another map soon with a poll of who you think will be the first casualty. Will it be you?
_________________
Paragon Tally: 19 mafia, 3 SKs (1 twice), 1 cultist, numerous chat scum...and counting. |
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Quailman
His Postmajesty
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| Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:53 am Post subject: 38 |
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| Quote: |
| Quailman and The Potter strike out north on separate streets. Quailman, you are definitely speeding faster than the rest of us. What's the rush? |
w00t!!! |
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MNOWAX
0.999... of a Troll
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| Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:37 am Post subject: 39 |
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i was afraid everyone would head up i95. but it is such a good route out of there.
_________________
The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX |
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lexprod
NOT not a title
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| Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 7:34 am Post subject: 40 |
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dolphin expressway 4 life!
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I'll have a P please... |
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