Momentary lapse of any brain function whatsoever.

[firemeboy]

The other day I was showing and shaving. When I was done I looked in my little hand mirror and saw that I still had shaving cream on my face. For some unknown reason I rinsed the mirror, and then looked again thinking the shaving cream would be gone.

Totally bonkers. Anybody else have these embarassing moments? I'm just glad it was in the privacy of my bathroom.

Of course now I've just told the entire world so it could be argued that I just had another of these 'lapses'.

[Pablo]

Once I removed the steel trap from under the bathroom sink. I got it out and discovered of course, that it was filled with disgusting water, hair, etc. I didn't want to risk spilling it on the carpet, so I cleverly dumped it into the sink.

Especially stupid since we have side by side sinks, one of which still had an intact drain.

[Death Mage]

My memory is too far gone to remember any real boneheaded stuff. Except the whole "take off glasses, rub eyes, put glasses back on, still seeing foggy, take off glasses, rub eyes..." thing.

[Borodog]

Many times I've done stupid things. Some of my favorites are things like leaving the remote control in the fridge or freezer, wandering around searching for my shades and getting more and more pissed not finding them when they're pushed back up on top of my head, etc.

Once I set a paperback novel pages-down in a puddle of condensation from a cold drink, soaking the pages. Now I had done this before, and had invented an ingenious way to quickly dry the book. Stand it on end, with the pages fanned out, in the microwave, and cook it on high for 20 seconds. Well, this particular time I accidentally pushed 2 minutes. I got distracted, and after a very long time, not hearing the ding!, I came back to discover the microwave roiling with smoke. So you know what I did?

I took the book out, and fanned it rapidly back and forth . . . feeding fresh air to the oxygen starved sparks, and bursting the book into flames. D'oh!


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Insert humorous sig here.

[Quailman]

My son was going through a phase of waking in the middle of the night and going into the game room to play nintendo. To stop that, I started taking the power cord to the unit and hiding it somewhere downstairs. After a while, he started just watching TV in the middle of the night. So I started hiding the satellite remote. No problem. He would simply find them the next day and go back to playing until I unplugged it that night. Except one day he didn't grab the remote from the hiding place, and it was several days before it was missed. Now we have absolutely no idea where it is, in spite of searching endlessly.

[Taflinel]

I think we could collect all of these and form a nice "Be careful not to..." book...

Be careful not to...dump the utensil instead of the plastic cup.
Be careful not to...leave the keys on the door after you lock.
Be careful not to...search for your glasses when you wear them.
Be careful not to...leave the house wearing pajamas or slippers.
Be careful not to...use important school papers to clean drink mess. (Boro
Be careful not to...eat the pie before removing the paperbag.
and many more...

Ta ta

[edit] Forgot everyone's favourite:
Be careful not to...shout a different name than the one of your SO when in romantic moments

[This message has been edited by Taflinel (edited 02-12-2003 05:35 PM).]

[Dan]

In the room I lived in last year, one had to manually turn around and lock the door behind you. There was no way to lock yoursel'f out becasue you couldn't close the door unless it was unlocked. This year I have a room where there's a little switch on the inside that you turn, and the door locks, and you can just pull it shut, locking it behind you.

I have been locked out of my room over a dozen times the first semester. And this semester my roomate moved out! So it just got worse!

The best fun is the times I locked myself out of my room when I went for a shower. This happened only twice (honest). So I go down the hall and borrow a shirt from my friend (who wears extra-midget small shirts), and proceed down four flights to the front desk in a towel.

Great fun.

[Beartalon]

I remember sitting at my desk with a book and clicking my mouse to try to turn the page.

[Quailman]

...or setting up a laptop from my office in our home office, and trying to type on the home desktop keyboard.

[Death Mage]

Ah yes, the wrong keyboard blues. Done that plenty of times.

[Death Mage]

Here's one: Assuming that just because somebody is protesting an "American" war, they must be an American.

[MacadamiamaN]

I do that a lot... I have a few keyboards on the desk, using at least 3 computers as the same time for different things.. it gets annoying, I always think the computer has frozen when it doesn't respond to the other computer's mouse

[Borodog]

Indeed. All combinations of wrong keyboard, wrong mouse, looking at the wrong monitor, putting disk in the wrong computer, etc . . .

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Insert humorous sig here.

[wordcross]

The thing i do alot is screw up IRL and then I try to find the "Edit/Undo" command to fix it.

Gatorade Ice is evil if you are not in the habit of finishing it in one go, and also in the habit of using them as water bottles... Watered down gatorade is often quite icky.

All of my AIM sn's have the same password save one. Instead of fixing it, i put up with entering the wrong password and wondering what went wrong.

I have been known to walk out of Chem labs while still wearing the Safety Goggles.

i can honestly say i've never left the house to go anywhere while still wearing pajamas. Not accidentally anyway.

------------------
I'm not an actor, but i play one on TV.
GLih8evilstuff: I hope you never call me, my caller ID would explode.
I don't suffer from insanity, i enjoy every minute of it.

[This message has been edited by wordcross (edited 02-12-2003 06:28 PM).]

[HyToFry]

[robichelli]

My only problem is with food. I remember vividly when I once decided to make a TV dinner. So I put it in the microwave for the correct time, and went to watch TV. Fifteen minutes later, I decide I'm still hungry, and make some macaroni and cheese. After filling on the dense pasta, I'm satisfied until dinner. So that night I go to make another TV dinner, and find a cold one in the microwave.

I've also been known to wash my hair twice in the shower because I forgot I already washed it. Or put the face wash into my hair, and then have to re-wash my hair because the face wash made it stick together.

[Pablo]

Let's not even talk about VCR's and programming them to tape important shows and looking forward to watching them later.

[This message has been edited by Pablo (edited 02-12-2003 07:15 PM).]

[JediSoop]

My friend once brought over some smirnoff ice to celebrate end of midterms. Unfortunately, the bottle caps weren't the twist off kind and I didn't own a bottle opener. We tried all sorts of stuff but I finally grabbed a giant pot of mine with metal handles, angled the bottleneck into the handle, and popped off the cap. It was kind fo a violent opening because of the awkward angle and I ended up spilling a lot of the beverage. fortunately, the pot caught most of it. My friend was really impressed with my engineering mind and started showering me with praises. But she suggested that when I open hers, I should turn the pot upside down to get a better angle for leverage.

I, fending off her accolades but secretly all smug and satisfied with my ingenuity, took her advice and flipped the pot over, smirnoff ice and all.

Her compliments quickly turned into huge bouts of laughter and mockery

[Hitchhiker]

Dumbest thing I've done recently: wondered why the photocopier was printing out blank sheets of paper. Naturally, it was because I hadn't inserted the page I intended to copy.

When I realized I was using the computer too much: I kept glancing at the corner of a book I was reading, to see what time it was. Not only that, but then I'd think, "87? What time is that?"

[Lucresia]

I went to school once and realized I had two different shoes on. Quite embarrasing...The worst part of al was that the shoes were two completly different heights!

[Borodog]

Soop, your story is worse than you think, because:

[luminous]

My friend and I were calling this guy named Han, who we didn't know too well. I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to embarass myself by calling him the wrong name, so I asked my friend (direct quote) "Wait, what's Han's name again...wait...SHUT UP!"

And then, in science:
My friend Jason: Where are my gloves? Did you steal them? You glove stealer!
Me: *thinking he's joking* Uh, yeah.
Him: *serious* well give 'em back, I'm cold.
Me: ...I didn't take them
Him: Why should I trust you?
Me: ...because you're wearing them.
Him: Oh.

Small was selling gs cookies, and she asked if I wanted to buy some. I said sure, and she asked me how many boxes. I jokingly said, "Eighty!" and she looks at me and begins scribbling it down and calculating how much that would cost. Hmm.

There are many, many more...I might share them if you pay me. Hordes of money. Or not...I'm too lazy to remember most of them.

[JediSoop]

Dawg - Have you ever had Smirnoff Ice from Bayreuth, Germany? They were definitely not twist off

(Smirnoff Ice was not offered in the state of illinois until just recently... my friends tried to bring it in at just about every chance they got. She happened to go to germany for the summer)

[Neo]

Does knowing what you want to say, but not quite saying it right count?

Or the time I was playing chess with a friend, well two games against different people (yes I was showing off) and in all seriousness made a move and said "king me" as I got up.

I once showed up at school without a shirt on.

I once took the trash out in freezing weather in only my boxers.

[EEEM]

Just a few days ago I was putting the finishing touches on the set of a spoof dating game show I've been working on. I was standing on a ladder and I hear my cell phone start ringing. I looked around, didn't see my bag, but it sounded like it was coming from behind a curtain. I assumed I had dropped it. I hopped off the ladder, and looked... all of a sudden the ringing was coming from my other side! So I turn around to scope out the tables, and it's back behind the curtain again... Then Tori cooly points out that my phone is actually in the pocket of the jacket I was wearing at the time.

I sadly remember one escapade when I was supposed to take out the garbage from the kitchen. I pull out the full back of trash, tie the top, and set it aside. I grab a new bag and put it in the trash can. Then I take the full bag, and shove it back into the same trashcan... And I wondered why my mother screeched at me for not taking out the garbage like I was supposed to.

[MacadamiamaN]

I often read a few pages of a really boring assigned book, forget what I just spent 5 minutes reading, and have to read it again. That's annoying as hell.
Teachers should give you credit for reading the book, not depositing it into memory

[jadesmar]

Um...

When taking notes in the first day of class in January this year, I was concentrating on getting the correct last digit for the year (because it had just changed).

I wrote January 6, 1993.

[Courk]

We have 2 VCRs - one upstairs and one downstairs. Now, I like to think I have a good memory. The upstairs VCR is 4 years old, yet I still specifically remember getting it and never having a remote for it. The downstairs VCR is about 2 years old with a remote that I knew had a red button in the corner.

On the first day of summer vacation I had my friends over. We hung out downstairs watching movies, obviously using the remote. After that day no one in my family had seen the remote. The only times we would really look for it is when we would try to set the downstairs VCR, which requires the remote. Failing to set the VCR, we would go upstairs and set that VCR using the remote - the one with the big red button in the corner. Remember, I knew that VCR didn't come with a remote. It took us 6 or 7 months to raealize that if the upstairs VCR didn't come with a remote, then the remote we use on it belongs downstairs.

[wordcross]

a GL related lapse is when i post under a different sn than wordcross, in games or such, but forget to do that and post as wx anyway. That's no the brainless part. the brainless part is when i go into edit to delete the post, I copy the post, then one of two things happens. a) i just hit submit without deleting the post, defeating the whole purpose of the exercise. or b) i delete the post, then go in to re-post as my other sn and then post as wx again. It really gets bad when i do both a) and b) in either order.

[Bicho the Inhaler]

robichelli, I too often shampoo my hair twice, having forgotten that I've done it already.

And then there are the times where I leave the shower having absolutely no idea whether I shampooed once or twice.

But this:

Originally posted by firemeboy:

---

The other day I was showing and shaving. When I was done I looked in my little hand mirror and saw that I still had shaving cream on my face. For some unknown reason I rinsed the mirror, and then looked again thinking the shaving cream would be gone.

---

takes the cake

[Dan]

More than once I've walked passed someone and then tried to check my rearview mirror.

[This message has been edited by Dan (edited 02-13-2003 12:01 AM).]

[mikegoo]

This one time I thought I would post one of my many stories about brain lapses, walked from upstairs to downstairs to the computer pulled up the GL found the thread hit post reply and stared blankly at the pretty white screen for literally 30 minutes trying to come up with one that wasn't alraeady in the thread...(10 more minutes have elapsed) and I'm still sitting here thinking. And no I don't obsess much.

Oh...got one...while reading a book or magazine on some ocassions my eyes will flow from word to word, line to line just as if I'm reading and I will reach the bottom of the page and realize I have no idea what I've just "read". I'm usually off on a tangent in my head thinking about something brought up on a previous page, but my brain forgets to tell the rest of me to stop reading since it isn't paying attention anymore.

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I'm unique...just like everybody else.

[wordcross]

mac already posted that one but i like your added detail

[mikegoo]

Poo...obsession fails again

[Samadhi]

Once I threw away my computer because Bill Gates' minions told me to. Then they had me looking for the key to my car for 2 hours under bushes, the barbeque, you name it. They had me drive my car across the border and leave it there. Presumably this was all to get me framed for some kind of murder (you know, evidence in the computer, in the car etc). I don't believe that though. Because when I went up to the Marine at the border and told him there was an APB out for me and needed to speak to someone (hey, that's what they told me), nothing came of it. They just took my fingerprints and let me through (the minions had hidden my wallet). Man did I feel silly.

[Hitchhiker]

Uh, Samadhi, I think you want another thread.

[Dragon Phoenix]

I once gave a presentation with overhead transparencies projected on a big white screen. As the content of the presentation was not mine (I replaced a co-worker), I concentrated very hard on the content. At a certain moment, I wanted to emphasise a connection between two blocks on a transparency. So I took a pen, went over to the screen and drew a connecting arrow. Man, did I feel stupid.

[Mycroft]

Being an architect, I have to travel around quite a bit. One day outside our office, I was showing some new conversion plans to our builder, had the newly drawn plans out across the back of my Toyota flatback when my mofone rung. It was my client (who's plans I was showing our builder) calling saying he wanted to meet us with the plans that evening.
We are on the eastern side of Cape Town and had to drive 400km to Mossel Bay. It was late morning and my client was an important account. I told Stu (our builder) to get in the cab as I rushed into the office to pick up his account details.
I ran back to my flatback, got in and drove off.
7 Hours and a tiring drive later, we end up outside my clients office. He meets us, greets us and invites us in. This is the point when I discover I left the plans, mofone, diary and case on the back of my flatback.
I phone my office incase someone noticed my blunder. Luckily, someone handed them in not long after we left.
Great I thought as I explained to my client, telling him I'll go back straight away, pick them up and be back in the morning. He agreed and we set off back to Cape town.
With all the panic and confusion with lost plans, I forgot to fill up on gas. About 80km outside Mossel Bay, we stopped. I just sat there banging my head againt the wheel as Stu got out to find the nearest phone.
One good thing, I never lost the contract.

[Duphrates]

I've done this a few times and on every occasion there has been someone stood behind me. Standing at the ATM machine and when it gives my MY money I've said ' Thank-you '.


I've been brought up well, haven't I?

[firemeboy]

I was in McDonalds and the serving lady told me to enjoy my meal. I think I was so suprised by the courtesy, I said, "Thanks, you too."

I heard a comedian do a bit on this exact thing later on so I guess I'm not the only one...