Momentary lapse of any brain function whatsoever.

[rlp]

Me: At my school, we have to walk to lessons, and I'm terrible at remembering which rooms the lessons are in. We also have one day shorter than the rest, with only five lessons instead of six. One a thursday, I walk out of Biology and reach the school gates before realising that it's wednesday that finishes early. Worst thing was that I was supposed to be in Maths at the time, and the teacher there must hate children for some reason.

Mum's insurance company: My mum, whilst she isn't that young, isn't that old either. Imagine what she felt like earlier this morning when she recieved a letter from her insurance company beginning: "Now that you have retired..."

[Moose]

the other day my brother got a retirement thing in the mail (he's 20 and would probably love to retire)

[Death Mage]

I once lit microwave popcorn on fire, in the microwave..

I've also set off the smoke detector while boiling water. Figure that one out.

[Chuck]

Aaron's cereal overeating brings another lapse from the seventies to mind. I put a 21 ounce frozen lasagna in the oven which takes 75 minutes to heat. I decided to go jogging while waiting for it so I go out and jog around for awhile until I come to a Jack in the Box restaurant about a mile from home. I'm really hungry so I go in and stuff myself with burgers and fries and then walk home from there. I arrive just in time to eat the lasagna that I forgot about.

[wordcross]

ROTFLMAO @ the vegetable oil

Here's one: I have two pillows on my bed. Usually they lay side by side. One night, before my internet rounds, i decided that since i had a library book to return the next day, i would finish it that night. So i lay the book on a pillow in order to assure that i don't forget it and just go to sleep without finishing it. So after i get off the computer, i go into my room, flip the light off, jump into bed, pull my second pillow ontop of the book, and fall asleep. I awoke the next morning with the hardcover book under my ear. Great stuff. I suppose i thought i'd just listen to the book instead

[Aarondalf]

Anyone else stare at a girl while walking and hit a pole?
Repeatedly?

[Neo]

Why look?

[EEEM]

My theatre teacher spastically shushes people. Anytime she hears any little noise, or wants us to be quieter she will let out a sharp "SSSH!" Once she got a little excited and let the end of her sentence get a bit loud and she suddenly shushed herself. She's even shushed her shushing. It's hilarious.

[Beartalon]

Not being successful with a feature of a specific program which I could not seem to activate (the "Analyzer" feature in Access XP), I decided to look it up.

I drove 45 minutes to the nearest computer book store, picked some likely books and soon found what I was looking for.

Then I sheepishly put the books back, walked out of the store and drove back home.

There, I started Access, opened my database, and clicked on the icon for the "Analyzer" in the task bar.

I sat there thinking to myself, why didn't I just look it up in the program's help or on the Internet?

[Ancalagon]

Once when I was turning off my table lamp, I hit the off switch on my conputer instead. Luckily it did not cause loss of much data.

[Chuck]

Major lapse in computer security design:

In the early eighties I had a TRS-80 model 3 with no hard drive and two floppy disk drives. To prevent users from making pirate copies of games and other software, each floppy disk had a password encrypted on it. When you told the system to make a backup copy of a disk it would ask for the master password. If you didn't enter it the system wouldn't copy the disk.

As an experiment, I formatted a blank disk and gave it a password of my own. Then I told it to make a backup copy of that disk onto an unformatted disk in the other drive. It asked for my disk's master password. I entered it. It checked the destination disk, saw that it wasn't formatted, and began formatting. While it was formatting I removed my disk from the first drive and put in the game disk with the unknown password. After the destination disk was formatted the system then proceeded to copy the game disk onto it. After all, it had already verified that I knew the password for the disk in that drive.

[wordcross]

Chuck, this is a thread about brain lapse. The least you could do is to not make the rest of us feel stupider than we already are

[robichelli]

I once started to read Chuck's previous post, and thought I was reading the directions on "How to Format a Disk" by Bill Gates

[Werebear]

My favorite trick with a car (though I've my share of lights left on, locked keys in car, run out of gas (three times I've run out of gas while pulling into a gas station)) is leaving the windows down. One day we were in Molly's Tracker, and the top was flipped open. We went in the restaurant, and started to eat... then the deluge started. It rained BUCKETS, we were sitting there talking about how bad the rain was before I remembered the top on the tracker. I ran out, I could barely see the rain was so thick, and rolled up the windows and flipped the top shut (pouring a gallon of additional water in the car at the same time), and ran back into the restaurant. I was surprised at the number of people at the bar saying "Did you see that guy running out to put the top on his car?"

One afternoon, I was talking to a co-worker... and when we were done, he asked, "Did you know your shirt is on inside out?" I wish someone had told me that MORNING...

...but my favorite story happened to a coworker named Adam. He was *ALWAYS* locking his keys in his Honda. It was a monthly thing. One day he's so annoyed at locking his keys in the car that morning, at lunch he goes to the local hardware store and has TEN copies made. He walked in after lunch looking like a storm cloud was hanging over his head. Fit to be tied. We asked what was wrong. He'd locked his keys in the car again... all 11 copies. We tried not to laugh, but we couldn't help ourselves.

[firemeboy]

Right after we moved from the old site, to the new site here with the UBB, I was following a thread with interest. I watched in annoyance as the screen kept telling me there was a new post, but it was the same old post. There wasn't anything new. I think it was a week before I noticed the little '2' at the bottom, and sheepishly read the rest of the thread.

I'm just glad I didn't post anything in the 'site problems' area.

[Lucky Wizard]

I've gotten used to writing today's date under my name on school papers. Used enough to it that a couple of times this week I've inadvertently written today's date when I should have written something else.

The first time was two days ago, when choosing my classes for my senior year. One line on the form was for my home phone. Guess what I started to write for that?

The second time was yesterday, on a survey questionnaire that asked for my birthday. Guess what I started to write, before catching myself?

I'm sure there have been other brain malfunctions... I just can't remember them.

[Beartalon]

I was looking forward to my stew when I took the beef out to defrost last night. I spent most of my morning cutting up vegetables, assembling the broth, and then mixing it all together with spices. I put everything in my crock pot and made sure I turned it on.

I left, knowing there would be a nicely simmered stew waiting 8 hours later when I finally got home.

Eight hours later, I came in out of the cold and was ready to dish out stew when I realized the crock pot, although turned on, was stone cold.

I hadn't plugged it in.

[Neo]

Today I was forced to drive my dad's blazer instead of my car. In my car, I can hit the turn signal by sticking my hand through the steering wheel (it usually rests there anyway) and hitting the lever with my finger, but on my dad's blazer, this can't be done, yet I continued to try, wondering where it went.

Just a few minutes later, I was trying to get out. I say trying, because I kept moving my hand around where the door handle would be in my car, before I remembered I was in the blazer.

[chief neo]

thank you for sharing that, wonderful, thatnk you.

[i_h8_evil_stuff]

I'm lazy. really lazy.

One day, i turn on the light in my room. Bright flash, then really dark. "ok. fine. the bulb burned out. i'll fix it tomorrow."

Next day, i walk into my room, flick the light switch up, and wonder why it's so dark. i fiddle with the switch for about a minute before i realize the bulb burned out the day before. "ok, fine. i'll fix it tomorrow."

(surely someone can see what will happen)


three months later, i flick the switch up, wonder why it's not working, and say to myself "oh, yeah! it's burned out! i was gonna fix that today. oh, wait, yesterday. no, the day before. *checks wall calendar* 3 months ago." that was last month.


Today, i flicked the switch up, and wondered why the light wasn't working....

[EEEM]

Last week the Tyler phone system started a new bit where we have to dial the areacode before any call, even if it's local, because with all the cell phones, they've run out of numbers. Took me a few days to get used to dialing the area code, but I have it down...

Today I was trying to call a friend who lives out of town. For some reason I had it in my head that I had to use area code for in town, and no area code for out of town. I dialed 3 times before I realized how stupid I was.

[pikachamp]

we have that here in oak harbor too ( tyhe phone thing)

[Lucky Wizard]

I guess I'll mention this here:

Yesterday I found a security hole in the GL. I thought Hy should know about it, so I posted it.

It wasn't until a little more than an hour later — after the computer had been turned off and everyone was in bed — that I realized that anyone who read my post could exploit it.

[Lucky Wizard]

One more thing:

Some time ago, I had three browser windows open. I was using one to post something to the GL. Of the other two, one was an image file, the other was the UBB code page.

I wanted to put the image in the post I was making at the time. So when it came time to paste the image URL into the post, I did a quick Alt-Tab, copied the URL from the address bar, Alt-Tabbed back into the page where I was posting my reply, pasted the URL into the appropriate place, and continued with my post. Then I posted it, observed the red X, decided to just wait it out, and went on my merry way.

The next day, I realized I'd forgotten a little step in the procedure. After Alt-Tabbing to another browser window, I hadn't thought to check to see what was in that browser window before copying the URL. The end result: I attempted to post the UBB code page as an image.

[Neo]

A while ago, I was talking to lumi and doing some history (written).

To make a short story even shorter, lumi now knows the two provisions of America's Freedom of The Seas Doctrine from WWI.

[luminous]

It's fun when you forget people while waitressing for charity and ask the same lady if she's finished with her drink so we can take it. Eight times.

[casinopete]

I used to work at a gas station about 6 blocks from my apartment.

One winter day, I awoke as usual, and tossed a couple of slices of pizza into the oven to heat up for breakfast (as usual). Then I took a shower, got dressed, and left for work (normally a five-minute walk, but 12-15 when trudging through foot-high snow drifts.

You may have noticed I'd forgotten something. Well, I didn't notice until about an hour later, when my stomach complained about too much Mountain Dew on a completely empty stomach.

I told my boss I had to go, that I'd hopefully be back in a half-hour (obviously I didn't tell her precisely why I needed to leave). So I trudged as quickly as possible back home with visions of a building filled with smoke.

When I got there, ran up the stairs, fumbled frantically with the keys at my lock, and rushed in - to find absolutely nothing wrong. See, forgetting about the pizza in the oven was the second large brain lapse of the morning - the first was forgetting to turn on the oven in the first place.

Thank goodness I'm so forgetful.

[Moose]

Haha

The other day I got one of those surveys in my email and I decided to fill it out. So I copied my friend's and put it in a new email (so it wouldn't have those little arrow thingies). Anyway...I filled the whole thing out. Then I went into my address book and clicked on the names I wanted to send it to and clicked "send to" which opened a new email. So...I selected my filled out survey and clicked paste into the new document with the email addresses in it. Then I closed the first one.

When I looked at the thing i was about to send I realized that it was my friend's survey, not the one I just filled out! gah...I had forgotten to *copy* it and therefore repasted my friend's. Ooops. I decided not to fill it out again...until i was bored a couple days later.

[Chuck]

I remember another one!

A few years ago at work someone faxed us someone's medical records from a doctor's office in Vermont. My boss thought they might be urgently needed at their intended destination so he called their office to tell them about it. The conversation went something like:

Lady at doctor's office: "You're not supposed to have those. Could you fax them back?"
My boss: "Why, don't you have the orginals?"
Lady: "Yes, but you're not supposed to have that fax."
Boss: "How will faxing them to you help? I'll still have a copy."
Lady: "How?"

Then he spends a few minutes explaining to her how faxing works.

Lady: "Oh,yeah. That's right."

I didn't hear the whole conversation. He told me about it later.

[Chuck]

When I was in high school one of my friends made a small set of shelves with doors on the front in wood shop. He hung it on the wall in his basement and kept it locked. He said it was for stuff he didn't want his parents to see. I told him there's a reason they don't make safes out of wood. He said he was sure his parents wouldn't take a saw to it. I told him they wouldn't have to because he put the hinges on the outside and anyone with a screwdriver could remove the doors. He seemed irritated with me and changed the subject.

[Quailman]

Similar to Chuck's faxing one:

When I was in college I worked part-time as a teller in a local bank. Several regular customers were known as ditzes who needed a little extra attention when they came in. My favorite was when one of them brought a check she had written out intending to cash it, but she had changed her mind. She didn't need the money after all. So she made a trip to the bank on a Saturday morning - we were always swamped on Saturdays and she had to wait a while for a teller. She handed over the check with a deposit slip, explaining that since she didn't need the money, she wanted to put it back in her account. but I'll bet she was really good in bed

[Sessie]

I was so looking forward to giving my mom her birthday present last week. Her birthday was the 6th, and our spring break started on the 8th, so I was going to give it to her when she and my dad came to pick me up. I had bought the present way, way beforehand, and I had kept it hidden cleverly in a drawer so she wouldn't see it ahead of time. So the day they came to pick me up, I was all packed and ready to go. As we were leaving, my mom asked as she always does, "Are you absolutely sure you have everything?" (Note: I live 3 hours away from my school.) I thought really hard and couldn't come up with anything I forgot. So a good hour down the road, we stopped at Taco Bell to eat, and my mom jokingly asked, "Did you remember my present?" It's a good thing she asked...

[Neo]

Can't lose these

[Macros]

something i do regularly:
our toothpaste is in a regular toothpaste tube. our soap is a squirty hand despenser, they look nothing alike, the soap is way bigger, and obviously not toothpaste. non the less, i regularly get a outhfull of freshly dispensed soap...

[Ghost Post]

heh. my parents usually buy milk with a green cap, but last week they bought a blue carton. i guess i combined the two and poured some stuff from the green carton on my cereal. yuck, cereal with buttermilk!