Insomniac Posts

[Coyote]

Don't worry Hy, there's sympathetic folk out there who feel your pain.

And would like to use it to sell newspapers.

[Mackay]

It's 3:33am. Yay. I'm... um... not asleep. So I guess this qualifies. I went out drinking earlier tonight, but I had a kinda psychotic episode thning that was worse than anythin I've had since 2 or so years ago. So I'm almost sober-ish right now. I was too ashamed to face any of my friends, so I just left. I can't imagione what they think of me right now.

[MatthewV]

mmmm it is 4:20 (weee we get the drug reference too!) and ithink that i will now get some water because my mouth is dry. probably will will be a feat to go to sleep rright now.

6:44 ,now yeah!

[This message has been edited by MatthewV (edited 08-14-2003 10:45 AM).]

[JediSoop]

gotta go back to work tomorrow after a crazy chicago weekend but I can't sleep (obviously..since i'm posting here)

tomorrow's gonna be a long day. Usually I'd feel better about it because i'd know combo was having just as long of a day but we hung up early tonight and now i'm chat partner-less. boo

~makes another attempt at bed~

[casinopete]

I went to Adventureland (weak little theme park) yesterday, and apparently they made their rides to fit only small people. There was one ride, "the Inverter" that actually cut off circulation to my right arm because it was gripping my shoulder too tightly. Anyway, the point is that I got pretty beat up, hitting my feet, shins, knees, elbows, shoulders, and head on all sorts of rides - and left the park completely exhausted.

I slept six hours last night, and rather deeply, which is, I think, the first time I've gotten more than five hours in a night in several weeks. fnord.

[HyToFry]

Wow, that reminds me of two stories.

Firstly, my father and I have been getting up at 5:30 AM every day to go walk for an hour. (a bit over three miles in distance.) Because of this, my sleep is now limited to 5.5 hours per night. I'm so tired lately.

The second is a fun story from Ant's trip to hatU. While he was here, we visited an amusment park called Lagoon. For the most part, it was great fun, but one ride in paticular was worth mentioning. It's one of those ferris wheel looking rides that has a big ring it in that allows you to lock the car so that it goes upside down. If you have never seen one, just imagine a completly caged ferris wheel which has you belted to the seat so tightly that you can barely breathe. Traxy and I rode it together and we would lock it so that we were facing the other cars. BOY HOWDY WAS THAT PAINFUL! The odd thing was the adrenalin rush. We were both laughing so hard that I'm certain most of the patrons of the ride thought we had flipped our coo coo's. We even managed to rock it so hard that we flipped it around while the ride was stopped (and that's no small feat.)

[it's a [url] tag, not a [ulr] tag]

[This message has been edited by HyToFry (edited 08-19-2003 10:26 AM).]

[Dragon Phoenix]

It's 4:13AM here - I woke up at 3AM and could not get back to sleep. Bah.

[Lepton]

Hy's Lagoon is hiring for their "Frightmares" section, including the Labyrinth. Link

I decided that, since I work better during the overnight hours, to put in an overnighter at work. It's been swell so far, and the sun should rise in an hour or so.

[MatthewV]

*waves to Lepton*
You see...it is almost 5 am...what is a sun rise?

[i_h8_evil_stuff]

Note: the below post might not make sense to anyone who does not know much about me. This was written in on out-of-mind,-look-at-how-your-life-has-been-so-far scenario, so it probably won't even make sense to me during the daytime.

Bah, they're back. They just couldn't leave me alone. I'm talking about my two least favorite (or most evil) things in the world: insomnia and depression. For some reason, they always come together and don't leave for about 2 months. I guess it's because I do a lot of thinking at night. This really sucks, too, because I have a doctor's appointment in 6 hours and I have to work tomorrow. And school is coming up soon. If I'm still suffering when school starts, then I dunno what I'm gonna do. I've got 5 real tough courses this year, and I don't think I'll be able to get through them if I'm always thinking or what could have been if I'd just kissed her. Sometimes I just do stupid shit and then, months (or even years) later, wonder why the hell I'd do such a stupid thing. And that's what I do at night, right before drifting off into nightmare-land. I wonder. I wonder about of lots of things. Like what would've happened if I ate that extra peice of cake, or what would've happened if I dropped out of all the "accelerated" classes in school. Usually its some mundane thing that probably wouldn't matter. But tonight, i get the one thing that brings up SO many cases. *sigh* Well, tonight I've got a couple of options. I could stay on compy all night and be dead tomorrow in work, I could lay in bed and cry into my pillow and think about how I didn't let my true feelings show, or I could walk into the kitchen and stare at a sharp knife for 4 hours. I'm probably not even going to consider option 3, because I've shot it down so many times. But who knows? Maybe I'll just play keyboard along with bands on the radio. Of course, it would help if the only good station around here played something besides depressing songs between 11pm and 6am. *long, exasperated sigh* Well, I gotta go before I realise what I'm typing and I wanna go back and edit this whole thing. Goodbye, Labyrinthians. I hope that the dreams you get are all wonderful, about you having all the candy and chocolate and anything you ever wanted, with no bad consequenses. After all, if mine are as bad as they are, it needs to balance out somewhere, doesnt it?

------------------
"Nothing amazing ever happens around here. Everything is just...

...ordinary."

[Kd]

*hugz* I'll agree that night brings depression. I have trouble sleeping a lot, and quite often I'll sit by my window looking out at the night sky, and start to make myself believe that my life sucks. This can be due to anything, from a petty argument with my friends to something that made me upset someone I really care about. Anything at all, to justify my life being as sucky as it can get. I've contemplated the possibility of having S.A.D, I've forced myself to stay awake as a form of self punishment, nothing works.

I have a highly vivid imagination. I get nightmares easily, and I tend to daydream a lot. I doubt this is helping me or anybody else at all. Maybe I should go lie down for a while...

[Mackay]

It's 4:35am, and I'm feeling better than I have all week. Reading this thread has brouught me somewhat down to earth though. Oh ih8! *hugs* I feel for you right now. My mental health has been rapidly deteriorating, to the point where I'm terrified of what I might do to myself or other people. Of course, I have the crazies mixed in with the depression, so that really doesn't help. But I understand what it's like, even though I bet you feel like nobody else could possibly feel as rotten as you do, and hearing someone say they've been depressed too just makes you angry. (at least, that's how I used to be.) You will be in my prayers, ih8. I hope some of you more spiritual types out there return the favour.
Last week I walked out into the ocean fully clothed, screaming at God to just take me now, because life is such a terrible thing, and that I just wanted it to be over. I was in water up to my shoulders, standing there yelling into the sky about how much I hated everyone, hated everything, hated me - just how much I hated, with no real focus. It was at this point that I snapped out of my "episode" - alone at 3am with water lapping around my chin. I came to my senses, and only just managed to get myself out of the water. I could have died twice that night - if I'd left becoming lucid just a little longer, and if I wasn't an experienced swimmer. It was hard enough as it was, I collapsed on the grass once I'd struggled off the beach. I love my life, and I'm so terrified that I'm going to do something moronic and cut it off. Like ih8, I'm going to post this now before I can think twice about revealing this kind of stuff.

[MatthewV]

*remembers the night he stayed up till 11am*

Insomnia is cool :_

[luminous]

*hugs both Mackay and ih8* That really sucks. *offers to share bar of dark chocolate that i'm eating*

I'm sorry, both of you. That blows, and I know it too. But you'll have to have hope, and faith (interpret 'faith' as religious or not, the choice is yours) that sometime, things have to, and will get better. Half a year ago, I was hopeless, carving stars in my shins and having periodic episodes- sometimes it was screaming until I collapsed from lack of breath, sometimes it was violent depression, sometimes it was obsessively arranging random things, be it sharpies or everything in the house. A long time before that, my parents committed me to an institution. That didn't help, so they gave up. And nothing could help. I didn't want to be better.

But now...oh, now! Everything is so bright and beautiful and clear. It's like coming out of a dark, musky cave. I want to experience everything I've missed; I want to see and hear and do things someone who can get dressed and drag themselves out of the house can do. I have hopes, and dreams, and aspirations, and...and, I cannot stress this enough...it is wonderful.

Sure, I still get a episodes of a little depression or urges I shouldn't have. But when I think of how absolutely lovely everything is now, the clouds lift. I'm okay now. The medication is getting less and less. And I love it.

The point is, even when it seems you're just wasting away...which I was, and things will never get better, just remember that they will. It seems preachy and mediocre now, I know that. I just can't put what I really want to say in better words than that.

*hugs again*

[edit: my apologies if I bored you to death or made you die because of the extreme cheesy-ness of this post. Well I tried. *shrugs.]



[This message has been edited by luminous (edited 08-25-2003 08:34 PM).]

[MillerTime]

It's...hmmm...2:55 am. My girlfriend got back today from a week-long trip to look at universities in the Northeastern U.S. I'm a little frustrated cause she's finally back and I can't see her, or at least I haven't seen her yet. Feels like I'm being teased. But, nothing I can do, till tomorrow at least...which, upon further consideration, is actually today. I don't think that's why I can't sleep though...it's probably cause I've been sleeping in till 12 every day this summer. That'll teach me. Well, actually, no, it won't. But I'm going off to university next Sunday, meaning I'll probably never sleep in again...why did I decide to go into engineering...*shudder*...all my friends have 12 hours of class per week and are taking courses like Enigmatology or Sport and Culture.

[Mackay]

Lumi, far from being cheesy, that's the best post I've ever seen you make. *returns hug* Thanks for your concern, but I am ok. Mostly everything is great, which is why I'm so scared about what I could do when I'm NOT lucid. But yeah. I hope I didn't worry you unnecessarily or anything, because that's just what it was - unnecessary. I'mjust a little scared.

Lumi, I've been praying for you consistently over this past year or so (I know you don't believe in that stuff, but hey.) and it absolutely warms my heart to see you finding happiness like this. There is no describing the warm, happy feeling that filled me upon reading your post. I sincerely hope that things continue to get better, or at least stay as good as they are now. You ought to know as well as I do that you always come out of these things a little stronger. Things never stay great forever, but when it comes, I'm sure you'll face your next test admirably.

- ha! And you thought YOU were being cheesy.

[Bicho the Inhaler]

Ha. I haven't read this thread in a while. luminous, that's the most positive post I've ever read by you.

Mackay: "unnecessary worry"? Are you serious? How could anybody not be worried after reading that?

[Mackay]

Actually, I'm much better now mentally. But I thought I'd post here because, while it isn't that late, I've had an impressive non-sleeping bout over the past few days.

Thursday night: 2 hours of sleep
Friday night: No sleep
Saturday afternoon: 4 hours of sleep
Saturday night: No sleep.

It's 12:30am on Monday here now, and I'm still not tired. I don't get it.

[Beartalon]

*dances happily with luminous*

*waltzes tenderly with Mackay*

[Mackay]

w00t! I got waltzed by Bearty! *treads on his feet numerous times* Errr.... sorry.

Well, I slept all day, which really isn't a good thing. But I'm ready for a fresh bout of stying-up-ness tonight!

(fyi, it's just after midnight on Monday/tuesday morning)

[Orbiting]

Just up making some baklava, thought I'd check in. I slept all day today (yay) due to the fact that I was up till the crack of dawn last night doing our first (possibly annual) Pirate Pub Crawl. Nine of us went out to pubs in full pirate garb, doing our best to promote Talk Like a Pirate Day and general chaos and silliness. We had a grand time, and gave out lots of paper pirate hats to other people who seemed to be of like mind. So now my sleep schedule is fubared and I'll be up to gods know when tonight cooking for tomorrow!
*waves to the night people*

[Taflinel]

As if you didn't know I can't sleep...

Ta ta

[Mackay]

Bah, it sucks, yes it does. It's 5:41am by my computer clock. The sun is up, and I'm not sleepy. I'm in a horrible, horrible mood and nobody will talk to me because they want me to go to sleep. It's all well and good when I know there's actually a chance I'll fall asleep. Even when I'm only a little tired, I'll usually still submit and give it a go. But I'm WIDE AWAKE and depressed. And it sucks. Stoopid fucked-up brain.

(don't worry, all, i'll be over it in the morning. Well... after i wake up. That is, if I ever manage to sleep.)

[Beartalon]

*sings Mackay a lullaby*

[Mackay]

meh. I got some sleep from sometime between 9-10am until midday. So I've had a bit. Besides, Beart, your voice is too sexy to put me to sleep.

[Taflinel]

Been there, done that, slept not...

Ta ta

[Mackay]

*stalks Taf into this thread*

*pounces*
**UBER-GIANT BEAR HUGS!**

ahhh, that's better. I've wanted to do that for a while now.
*leaves*

[Beartalon]

I just switched over from having to get up at 5:30AM to go to work to get up at 8. Instead of enjoying the long sleep I could have, I can't make myself fall asleep. I even read part of my calculus book, and got bored before my eyes decided to close.

[RequiemEternam]

so i live in a co-op, which means that the 16 people who live in this huge house cook for each other, do the chores for each other, etc. like an idiot, i signed up to wash pots tonight, forgetting that i had a rehearsal that ended at 11pm.

so i just finished washing more pots than we have people living here. but at least i got to chat with EEEM in AIM for a tad. also, i no longer have time to sleep, since i'm about 30 gazillion pages behind in reading for one class, and i've got homework due in 8 hours.

blech

[Mackay]

It's 8:30am. I guess that counts, 'cos I haven't slept...

*posts here*

[Taflinel]

~insert meaningless post~

Ta ta

[This message has been edited by Taflinel (edited 10-15-2003 09:19 PM).]

[Taflinel]

I hate this thread...
I think it's like the drunk thread. My self stays awake just to show others that I can't sleep... Bah...

Ta ta

[Mercuria]

alone and awake at 4:25 on a friday night (saturday morning)

heh... fun...

[luminous]

I have yet to sleep, and I have to drag myself to school in aboot an hour to assist with some testing. *makes the 'lumi is sleep deprived and wants to cry' face*

[Huey]

Get some sleep people!

[Beartalon]

Flatulence. If you're lucky, it'll knock you out so you can sleep...

[Roweena]

Top GL story:
"Bearty....now in the realm of tastelss jokes"

[Beartalon]

Yes, thankfully it is tasteless. Now it just needs to be odorless, and I won't have to fluff the covers so often.

(maybe this shouild be in drunken posts too. It's probably more where my mind is at the moment)

[Roweena]

On a serious note, Bearty you have an extremely cool and cutting edge serious wit.
If there's a GL lull, it's certainly not because of your contributions.

Often you post funny stuff that I wish I had thought of first. Yet I often wouldn't have at all.

I take this opportunity to my take hat off to Mr. Beartalon, a great guy.

Hats off to Bearty!

Pablo has nno hat. So he can toss his toupee. That's exceptable as a gesture of celebration.
So, Pablo! Stop watching that home theater survivor episode and spiral that toupee in the air! Like pizza dough!
Expand the toupee. Fluff it.

And dispell those fleas by centrifugal force.

[Beartalon]

Is someone on a buzz?