Interdimensional RAF [WHO IS THE WINNER]

[Undercover Monk]

Howdy yall! Bonjour! and Good Day! It seems the past several RAF attempts have fallen apart due to the disaperence of their moderators and I would love to try and get one to actually stick.

So, I'm taking sign-ups just give me your favorite (fictional) character and we'll see if we can actually finish one of these.

Please give me your character in the forum.


1. lexprod (Zapp Branigan)
2. MNOWAX (Uncle Sam)
3. raekuul (Nephrite)
4. ralphmerridew (Ushiromiya Battler)
5. Dented Ford (Zaphod Beeblebrox)
6. Zag (Bilbo Baggins)
7. referee (Link)
8. Loki (Ali G)
9. Chuck (Spaceman Spiff, aka Calvin)
10. Poisonium (Dr. Gordon Freeman)
11. mathgrant (a Goomba)
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[lexprod]

/in! Do we pick our characters publically or privately?

[raekuul]

/in like some fictional character yet to be decided, most likely a reformed villain.

[MNOWAX]

/in i know who im going to be.
_________________
The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX

[ralphmerridew]

Ushiromiya Battler, from Umineko.

[raekuul]

They say that everything is ruled by the stars. If that's the case, then why didn't I see Zoicite's betrayal coming?

I shall take the mantle of the Repentant Astrologer General, Nephrite/Nephlite.

[lexprod]

I am ZAPP BRANNIGAN! Defender of the universe and general of the DOOP army!

[Omega Centauri]

I'm in if someone tells me what this is.

[Dented Ford]

Got described as Marvin-like recently, so this time I'll /in as Zaphod.

[Zag]

Well, I've had favorites come and go, but the one I have returned to multiple times is Bilbo Baggins (on his eleventy-first birthday).

[lexprod]

[Undercover Monk]

For Battler and especially Nephrite I will be unable to add a lot of background as I will only be using wikipedia for those I'm not familiar with. I apologize, but I will do my best. I did however find them so I can use them.
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[referee]

/in as Sharon Valerii
_________________
Jan 21st, 2008: The pillaging continues.
Mar 4th, 2008: Rest in Peace, Gary Gygax. May your dice always roll a natural 20 wherever you are.

Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!

[raekuul]

I'll do my best to give enough info to make a good scenario, but there's not a lot of stuff I can do under Nephlite's theme anyway. His biggest thing is the whole "Everything is ruled by the stars" bit.

[MNOWAX]

ok im playing as...

you all people pick sci fi characters and stuff, i go for tradition. im playing as Uncle Sam.
_________________
The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX

[Loki]

/in as Ali G

[Undercover Monk]

[Chuck]

I'll play as Spaceman Spiff

[referee]

Fair enough. In as Link, please.
_________________
Jan 21st, 2008: The pillaging continues.
Mar 4th, 2008: Rest in Peace, Gary Gygax. May your dice always roll a natural 20 wherever you are.

Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!

[Poisonium]

/in as Dr. Gordon Freeman
_________________
I tried apt-get install lifebut it only returned E: Couldn't find package life

[Undercover Monk]

Thanks Ref, keep the sign-ups coming.
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Undercover Monk]

So its been a couple of days with no new sign-ups. I'm setting a deadline for entries for tuesday. That way I can hopefully get all the first round actions in by next weekend. Come join in, the more the merrier.
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[mathgrant]

/in as a Goomba
_________________
My logic puzzle blog

[Undercover Monk]

deadline passed

I will have an intro post up later today. Go ahead and send me your 1st round choices. Please put RAF somewhere in your subject to help me keep this seperate from Redwall Mafia. Thanks and happy killing.
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Undercover Monk]

Intro

LADDDDDDDIESSSSSSSS ANNNNNNNNND GENTLLLLLEMENNNNNNNNN!

Welcome to the first Interdimensional Ready Aim Fire Super-Brawl. We have brought 11 contestants, from various universes, to test who is the ultimate champion, in our state of the art hendecagonal battle-ring at the undecagon located in scenic Middle of Nowhere. We will be using our patent pending instant tranportanator-anator to allow our combatants to use whatever enviroment they wish in their fee-for-all deathmatches. Now lets meet our warriors.

In the Pink Corner He's strong, He Suave, He's a famous 2999 space captain its Zapp Brannigan



In the Blue Corner, He's patriotic Giant who wants you to...DIE! It's Uncle Sam!



In the Purple Corner, He's as dark and mysterious as the starry sky. Its Nephrite.



In the Red corner, Hes stubborn and he doesn't believe in magic. He's Ushiromiya Battler.



In the Gold Corner, He's a two-headed, three-armed, insensitive ex-galactic president. It's Zaphod Beeblebrox!

[img]http://corniart.deviantart.com/art/Zaphod-Beeblebrox-119831473[/img]

In the Brown corner. He's a well-to-do hobbit with a knack for adventure. He Bilbo Baggins!



In the green corner, hes a sword wielding, shield bashing, Zelda rescuing machine. Its Link!



In the Black corner, Hes the hippest white guy around, It's Ali G



In the white corner, hes a pint-sized, space explorer with a lot to prove. Its Spaceman Spiff!



In the Yellow Corner, hes Black Mesa Researcher who has battled both the government and aliens. He is used to interdimensional fighting. He's Dr. Gordon Freemen.



In the orange corner a late entry and constant underdog. Its a Goomba!



This promises to be an epic and entertaining battle royale. Sooooooo! LETSSSSSSSS GET READYYYYYYYY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEE!
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Undercover Monk]

Prods have gone out and while I fully expect responses from 2 of our missing 3 I do not expect an answer from Loki who is also missing from Redwall Mafia and Cannonbal Run. So if he doesn't at least pick up his prod by tomorow I will be modkilling him. So if anyone targeted Loki feel free to change your choice.
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Undercover Monk]

Welcome back RAF fans as we prepare to sound the opening bell, we have an excellent team of field reporters who will take us all over the map, so you don't miss a moment of the action.

(DING DING DING)

And our combatants have dove through our portal. I am getting reports of action in the mushroom kingdom.

Round 1 Scene 1

Somewhere in the Mushroom Kingdom a lone goomba scooted along the ground nervously on the lookout for the red hatted menace. humming to himself he felt that he might actually survive when suddenly a gigantic fat man landed on him.....

The projector flickered and the lights went out. "This," said the lead goomba "Is precisely the problem. We spend our usually short lives in constant fear of being crushed by an obese plumber and what happens when we finally get him he has another life. He gets freakin' reincarnated and he doesn't even practice hinduism. What's his secret? Money!" all the gathered goombas in the assembly hall murmured at this shocking piece of new information. "Yes, my friends, I have discovered that the mario must only collect 100 coins and he is granted an extra life. My response, why not us. Why shouldn't we gain an extra life. My friends I plan on gaining that extra life. Anyone who is interested can come along but I plan on beating that mustached freak at his own game.

In less than five minutes the goomba was alone. "Fine cowards, i'll do it myself." The training session that followed would make any Rocky fan proud. He sweated he strained, he worked till he dropped. He was finally ready to scale that insurmountable obstacle, a 1 foot step to the first coin.....

******************************************************************************************


Meanwhile in a galaxy far far away, actually it was just our galaxy in the future but you get the point, Captain Zapp Brannigan walked along the bridge of the luxury space cruiser Titanic. His reign of captain was going to propel him even higher up the ranks of galactic popularity. Soon only the Jonas Brothers would stand in his way of supreme galactic acknowledgment. "You know Kif, I think I beginning to feel the itch for adventure, its time for some course changes to the gamma quadrant.
"But Sir," said his startled Lt. "That leads us straight through a hail of comets."
"Yes comets, icebergs of the sky, by jackknifing from one to the next at breakneck speed we should receive some sort of gravity boost, or something.
"But Sir..."
"Enough Kif, Now don't disturb me unless we go into catastrophe mode."

( 5 minutes later)

Kif ran up to Brannigan. "Sir it appears that the course you set is more suicidal than we might have hoped."
"No matter we shall just set a new course for that blackish holeish thingy over there."
"But sir,isn't that dangerous."
Of course not Kif, really I don't know which disappoints me more your cowardice or your stupidity. Now I must be off there is a certain limbo champion whos about to dance the subtle waltz of seduction.

******************************************************************************************

Back in the Mushroom Kingdom our unlikely hero had managed to score 97 gold coins it was one more climb and a leap off the tallest cliff in the level and then he would show that mario a thing or too. He was almost there.

******************************************************************************************

In Space Lt' Kif tried to stop the ship but it was going too fast, straight into the center of the black hole. It was almost there...

******************************************************************************************

Here it was the Goombas crowning moment of triumph. He took a breath and jumped. Just then a huge green airship appeared out of nowhere deflecting the unfortunate creature toward the cliff face. "Hmm" said Brannigan, "we actually survived and landed in some alternate dimension. Our only course of action is to resort to cannibalism. Look a walking mushroom, that would go great on my human pizza." However the confident cpt. didn't think to bring his space suit and was crushed by the apparently high levels of gravity of the mushroom kingdom. That would explain the goombas low vertical jump.

The goomba meanwhile found he was going to fast to change directions and was scooting toward the edge of a giant chasm. "Well he thought at least if I die, Im dieing on my terms and not getting squashed by that absurdly fat italian son of a b...

(SPLAT)

Heh Heh I Got it!


mathgrant (a goomba) targets SELF by attempting to gain 100 coins and failing
Lexprod (Zapp Branigan) targets SELF by sterring toward "that blackish holeish thingy'


mathgrant and Lexprod are dead.


P.S. scene 2 still to come hopefully quicker than the last one
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Undercover Monk]

Sorry about how long this has taken guys but I got busy with work and Redwall mafia and kinda forgot about this. I know UM=hypocrite but I'm still here and have the next small part of the story up. I think Im going to try and break it into smaller chunks. and try to do one or two players a day. Also I didn't like the lack of detail in this one and will try to make my next one a little more smooth. Thanks for the patience. Now without further adu its Round 1 Part 2




Bilbo Baggins, of Bag-End did not look that extraordinary.then again most hobbits didnt. He was neither faster, nor stronger, nor wiser than the average hobbit, though he was quite a bit older. But this hobbit had been on a terribly exciting adventure in his youth and now was looked on by his kinder neighbors as simply eccentric.(The less kind ones called him dangerously insane.) However, on hearing that a huge birthday bash was to be planned and most of Hobbiton invited all ill-will and eccentricies were forgotten, for everyone loved a good party. Bilbo sat outside his hobbit hole and peacefully smoked a pipe dreaming of years gone by and elve and dragons, dwarves, trolss, goblins, and a small gold ring...

Calin shut the book with a slam. "You know Hobbes," he said, as he turned to his tiger companion, "reading would be a lot more interesting if it weren't so boring.Where's the Zombie Snowmen, The evil monsters, the entrepid space explorer. At least a few color illustrations. If only Spaceman Spiff were there he would show those hobbits a thing or two about an action-adventure-fantasy-epic...."


In the far reaches of space Spaceman Spiff recieves a distress signalfrom a planet known as In-Between-Land. There small furry ewok-like creatures are forcing childeren to read old british literature. "This," said Spiff heroicly, "is a tryanny that will not stand." The spce warrior sped to the planet to stop the evil creatures. When he arrived he confronted the leader who appeared unconcernd at the interuption. As Spif gave his mighty introduction, the creature lit a pipe and began blowing smoke rings. "How dare you smoke around childeren!" screamed Spiff, "Don't you know that AL Gore list second hand smoke as the number 2 killer of polar bears and childeren behing global warming. The creature ignored Spiff, so Spiff drew his Zorcher and blasted the evil BoBil out of existence. "Now said Spiff time to find that villian Man-Bear-Pig"


"Now that," said Hobbes, "would be a story, but who needs reading when you can play Videogames.
And with that the two raced to their new Wii system and put on their favorite game Super Smash Brothers: Brawl.

(To Be Continued)


Bilbo Baggins targets AIR with his pipe
Spaceman Spiff targets BILBO BAGGINS with his Zorcher

Zag is dead
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Zag]

Sigh. Actually, Bilbo Baggins would be me. I have yet to survive the first round of a RAF.

[MNOWAX]

could be worse, im currently on the Tapan Zee bridge. in a Veyron.
_________________
The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX

[Dented Ford]

OK, I'll sacrifice the second head and third arm if you want, but I'm not dead! (yet)

[Undercover Monk]

Well I fixed the DF-Zag mess-up and I have another part ready to go I was going to try and do 2 parts today but I ran out of time. May be up later today but definately within the week probably only 2 more parts to go after this. So on to part 3

Round 1 Scene 3

Meanwhile in the Super Smash brothers Universe Link was searching for a good weapon to use.
"Poke-Ball, too nerdy"
"Hammer, too retro"
"Smash Ball, too convenient"
"light sword, too sci-fi"......

Unfortunately for Link, he forgot the cardinal rule of SSB. Never, ever stand still for more than 5 seconds. Wario walked up to the elf-like warrior and blasted a big one. His rage kindled and his RAF weapon search forgotten Link charged the disgusting Italian. Wario responded by pulling his Harley from nowhere and nearly ran Link over. This gave the swordsman an idea. As Wario jumped off his bike to have another go at the hero, Link flipped over the fat villain and sent him flying off the platform with a swinging sword attack. Link grabbed Warios abandoned bike and scanned the handy player tracking device, that I just decided every player was given at the start of the match. He found what he was looking for. Someone was playing SSB under the code name Spaceman Spiff. He instantly jumped into the teleporter and zapped himself and the bike into the game.


*******************************************************************


Calvin had logged into his player account and selected his favorite brawler, Ganondorf. He selected Hyrule as the stage and got ready to take on Hobbes as Zelda. As they started their match the screen went blank as the words A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES flashed on the screen. "Oh sweet!" shouted Calvin. "I wonder who it is." Link appeared on the screen, but this Link had a gigantic Wario-Cycle and a dangerous look in his eye. "Oh crap shouted Calvin its the RAF Link. Link bore down on Calvin with the cycle any moment now his RAF career was going to end. Then suddenly He had an idea. Calvin quickly paused the game right as the motorcycle was about to hit him.

*********************************************************************

"Oh shoot!" thought the frozen Link "I should have teleported into his room instead of his game."

**********************************************************************

Calvin breathed a sigh of relief. But, his troubles weren't over. "Calvin!" shouted his mothers voice, "Time for a bath!" Calvin hated baths. He dove under the bead and grabbed Hobbes as he muttered, "Spaceman Spiff doesn't have to take baths, and again Calvin became the Heroic Deep Space Warrior SPACEMANNNNNNN SPIFFFFFFF!

************************************************************************

Meanwhile the ex-galactic president sat at the helm of the starship Heart of Gold. "Not that it matters, as we are all doomed to never finishing the game thanks to UM's procrastination and empty promises, but shouldn't you use the teleporters like every-one else." Sighed Matin the ships extremely depressed robot.
"No way!" shouted Zaphod Beeblebrox. "Thats for losers without an infinate improbability drive. Computer!"
"Yes sir." answered Eddy the ship computer, who was as cheery as Marvin was depressing.
"Whats the probability that we will end up next to some RAF contender we can humiliate?"
"Why, that would be at about 1,999,787,864,373 to 1" answered Eddy.
"Excellent!" said Zaphod excitedly, "engage the IID!"

The shop sprung forward into the depths of improbability....

**********************************************************************

Spiff was on patrol in the Zega Quadrant when instantly the alarms went off in his spaceship. It appeared an unknown but seemingly dangerous identity was approaching from the planet below him. He instantly raised his shields and dove into the cover of a nearby asteroid field. Hoping the danger would pass.


*************************************************************************

Zaphod exhaled as the Heart of Gold came to a halt in an unknown area of Space. "Computer where are we?"
"Why in the overactive imagination of a hyper-active child" chirped the computer "Isn't that just swell"
"Well I don't see a RAF-er." complained Beeblebrox
"Why don't you use your convenient player Tracker?" suggested Marvin sadly, "though it probably won't work."
"The what Now?" asked Beeblebrox
"In your hand." said Marvin
"Woah!" shouted Zaphod as he noticed the device he was now holding. "Cool lets see if anyone is hiding."

After a few minutes of scanning the device beeped and Zapphod pointed to an asteroid field a short distance away. "This doo-hickey says theres an opponent hiding in that asteroid field!" he shouted. "Computer ready the Infinate Improbability Weapons System."
"System Ready"
"Fire!" shouted shouted Zaphod.
"Fire!" shouted Eddy.
"Fire." moaned Marvin.

Instantly several Scrungeflobbers from the planet Squekllean drifted toward the enemy craft. This is what the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy has to say about Scrungeflobbers

Scrungeflobbers are a mostly harmless race of janitor like android squids. Originally created during the great custodian strike of galactic year 3087 by a group of obsessive compulsive middle school principals. They were so good at cleaning however they unionized and drove most janitors out of business and became feared for the terrible effect on planetary economies, as Janitors were the highest paid position on most planets at that time. To combat the threat the Scrungeflobbers were given their own planet and all custodial pay was downsized in favor of giving higher salaries to college mascots and light-weight boxers.

**************************************************************************

Spiff looked out his window to gaze in horror at the squidlike creatures approaching his ship. Their tentacle were foaming with what he realized was soap and their skin was like brushes. he barely had time to put on his helmet as they started cleaning the ship. One of the Aliens reached into the ship and dragged the brave space warrior out . Spiff felt his powers wane the aliens scrubbed him clean. he gave one last desperate cry for help then his shouts were silenced by the cleaning aliens.....

********************************************************************************

Zaphod watched as the Scrungeflobbers finished off Spiff and the player tracker was silenced. "One down," said Zaphod. "Computer get us out of here."
"You got it!" said the computer, as the ship once again engaged the IID and was gone.

********************************************************************************

Calvin emerged from the bath clean as a whistle and very angry. He didn't even bother finishing his game as he shut down the WIi forgetting the game to Link. "Stupid bath," muttered Calvin, "stupid RAF, I'm going to go outside get dirty again."

**********************************************************************************

WINNER said a voice, as Link saw the Gannondorf in front of him disappear and Spiff's name disappeared from his tracker. "Yes!", shouted Link, "I won! Alright now to go back to the ring." But Link found he was still frozen. "Hey someone want to lend me a hand? Anyone? Hello?...."


To Be Continued

Link attacks Spiff by running him over with a motorbike
Zaphod BeebleBrox attacks Spiff with alien Scrungeflobbers that clean him until he dies of shame.

Chuck is dead
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Zag]

Hah! Glad to see Spiff dead. Revenge is sweet.

[Undercover Monk]

Round 1, Scene 4

Dr. Gordon Freeman walked outside the Black Mesa Research Facility muttering to himself. "Stupid moderator, misspelling my name in his stupid prod, in his stupid slow game." He was gathering supplies before heading out to hunt some RAF-ers. "I don't even care if he gives me a good storyline,....ah there's my crowbar." He said grabbed the long thin weapon. "Now lets see who is in a bad position that I can take advantage of......." Dr. Freeman looked at his player finder and smiled as he teleported away.

***********************************************

Link, still frozen in place, looked around for anything that might get him out of his prediciment, but nothing came to mind. Suddenly a portal appeared out of nowhere and a man with thick glasses and a faded power suit walked up to the warrior. All he carried was a long thin crowbar. "Ahh Link it is time you met your end," said the man raising his crowbar, "this is for finishing higher than me on the UGO greatest hero list!" Suddenly a booming voice stopped the attack short. "Halt you evil Communistic Nazis in Disguise." A Giant of a man wearing a red and white striped pants, an awesome star spangled top hat, and a sweet trench coat stepped through a portal. "Halt knave!" said the Giant, "I need a hero to help me defeat terroism once and for all."
"Perfect!" said Freeman, "I would be more than happy to help you."
"Not you" boomed Uncle Sam, "You finished 5 spots below Link on the UGO hero list." "I WANT YOU!" shouted Sam, pointing at Link.
"I should have known the American Government would screw me." said Freeman, "Well not this time. Im gonna kill you Big Government.

But as he raised his crowbar Uncle Sam grabbed Link and teleported away. Dr. Gordon Freeman was alone once again. "Well this sucks, maybe I'll just go complain to the mod some more...."


*****************************************************************

Uncle Sam and Link arrived in the middle of a skirmish in Afghanistan. "Now go save America Link and represent all of Americas videogame nerds while you do, Good Luck!" said Uncle Sam as he teleported away. Link filled with patriotic spirit went to go behead some terrorists when he realized he was still frozen. A grenade dropped next to him. "Oh Shi......" BOOOM

****************************************************************

Uncle Sam turned to see the ghost of Link staring at him. "What!" said Sam, "I take my instructions from the democrats right now, It's not my fault they can't run a war.....or economy.....or nation......I'll shut up now."


(To Be Continued)


please note I do not in anyway wish to detract or insult the brave men and women fighting in Afghanistan my problem is with the political leadership only. But come on with Uncle Sam in the game I had to bring up politics. Anyway GO USA!

Also here is the UGO top 100 hero list if anyone is interested in seeing it.
http://www.ugo.com/games/top-heroes-in-entertainment/


Poison(Freeman) targets Ref (LInk) with a crowbar

MNOWAX(Uncle Sam) targets Ref (LInk) with the finger "I Want You"

Referee is killed
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[raekuul]

I'm starting to think I managed to survive round 1 simply because I haven't shown up yet. I'm usually killed in the first few updates.

Optimism for the win!

[Undercover Monk]

Round 1 Scene 5

Back at the Unadecagon, most of the spectators had either fallen asleep or left grumbling about technical malfunctions, stale popcorn, and a general lack of action. In fact only two people were still watching the ring, the monitors having failed several hours ago.
"I can't believe you dragged me out here, dude!" said the first one.
"Shut-up Cody," said the other. "You weren't complaining after that awesome opening sequence."
"Whatever idiot! If something doesn't happen in the next few minutes I'm leaving!"
As His companion was about to respond a ship materialized improbably right above them, effectively ending their argument.

**************************************************************


Nephrite paused in his scheming to watch as the swaggering figure of Zaphod Beeblebrox stepped back into the ring. "Hey starman wazzzzzzzzz upppppppppp! You already finished dude!"
"No I'm trying to figure out how to best incorporate stars into my attack."
"Whoaaaaaa dude, you mean you haven't even started yet."
"Welllll..... no. But its not my fault if the mod was a bit faster at creating these maybe I would have had an idea by now.
"Well dude, you should have picked a less obscure character."
"At least the mod had heard of your anime." Battler walked into the room adjusting his suit. "Sorry to interupt but I just got back from the concession stand. I'm actually a huge fan of stale popcorn. You look like you could use a hand."
Nephrite looked uneasy at the intrusion but decided that he needed an assist. "Fine , but it has to have something to do with stars to fufill my..."
"Idiom!" offered Battler
"Idiom, yes thats it!" said Nephrite


***************************************************************

After an hour of useless bantering the three combatants were still no closer to a suitable attack for the star master. "How about singing a real bad version of that STARS song from Les Mis." suggested Battler.
"Nah I hate Javert," said Nephrite.
"Speaking of singing you could chuck American Idol stars at someone." suggested Zaphod.
"This is ridiculous!" screamed Nephrite in frustration, "Hey Zaphod is that a star chart over there."
"Yeah, why."
Suddenly Nephrite grabbed the star chart and savagely beat Zaphod to death with it. Nephrite, cackiling madly, ran through a portal and dissapeared. Battler stared at him, "wow that guy is messed up. I probably shouldn't leave him alone he may hurt himself or someone else." So reluctantly Battler followed Nephrite through the portal leaving the black and blue body of Zaphod to lie on the ring floor.


*********************************************************************


Battler arrived in what appeared to be an ancient midevel village. he looked around searching for nephrite and spotted the manic star-gazer dressed in a ridiculous outfit surrounded by what appeared to be a very angry mob. He moved closer and realized that they were accusing him of being a witch. He scoffed and watched the fun the leader appeared to be saying something.
"so logically if she weighs the same as a duck, then she is made of wood, and is therefore....A WITCH!" explained the knight.
"Wait! shouted Nephrite "I'm not a witch, ask him." he said pointing to Battler."He will vouch for me."
Battler smiled "sorry dude, this seems like a great way to eliminate the competition, besides witches aren't real so you should have nothing to worry about see ya in round 2, or not." And with that Battler teleported back to the ring. Leaving a screaming Nephrite to the midevel mob.


***************************************************************************

As he returned he was met by Uncle Sam and Dr. Gordon Freeman. "Are you all thats left." asked Battler.
"Seems like it." said Freeman
"Well then may the last man win," said Sam. They all readied themselves for the epic finale that was to come.

END OF ROUND 1

Nephrite targets Zaphod with an astrology chart
Battler Targets Nephrite with "denying the existence of witches"

Raekuul and Dented Ford are dead








Please confirm that you are still playing and send me your round 2 choices again apologies for the wait.
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[raekuul]

Excuse me while I extract my foot from my mouth.

[referee]

Well, T-4th ain't too bad.
_________________
Jan 21st, 2008: The pillaging continues.
Mar 4th, 2008: Rest in Peace, Gary Gygax. May your dice always roll a natural 20 wherever you are.

Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!

[Undercover Monk]

We are just waiting on Poison I will give him another week then I'll ask you guys to resend. With only 3 people it shouldn't be hard to finish this ordeal
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Poisonium]

Sent!

I'm always too late.
_________________
I tried apt-get install lifebut it only returned E: Couldn't find package life