Don't Shoot the Moderator V: The Rebirth (game over)

[ralphmerridew]

Ordinary Don't Shoot the Moderator. Send for round 1 within 3 days, or I will choose a bad move for you by previous rules.

1) Chuck
2) MNOWAX
3) The Great Creper
4) MatthewV
5) sAbLLimINal
6) Undercover Monk

[Chuck]

I"m sure I can handle my usual one round per game, so I'm in.

[MNOWAX]

/in
_________________
The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX

[The Great Crep'er]

/in, shooting myself, I suggest everyone do the same
_________________
Potato. Belgium. Eight. Random Lynch # Mafia awaits.

[MatthewV]

A simple game that will f/inish!

[sAbLLimINal]

/in

[Undercover Monk]

/innnnnnnnn
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[ralphmerridew]

Game is started, pm within 2.5 days or I choose for you.

[The Great Crep'er]

1. Chuck
2. MNOWAX
3. MatthewV
4. sAbLLimINal
5. Undercover Monk

Dice Roll:

Original Roll String: 1d5 1 5-Sided Dice Results: 2

[The Great Crep'er]

I'll leave the rest of you to figure out what I'm doing.

[The Great Crep'er]

Hold on, let me re-do that, I can't let ralph off the hook that easy

1. ralphmerridew
2. Chuck
3. MNOWAX
4. MatthewV
5. sAbLLimINal
6. Undercover Monk

Dice Roll:

Original Roll String: 1d6 1 6-Sided Dice Results: 5

[MNOWAX]

lmao nice you guys
_________________
The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX

[ralphmerridew]

"Can't you put things away, you jerk? I just stubbed my toe on your stupid dictionary!" snarled Undercover Monk. Said jerk did not respond, being dead.

Limping up to the register, UM piled his purchases onto the counter. The clerk totaled them up: "Black pants, 2000 rupees. Black shirt, 1500 rupees. Black gloves and black socks, ... Total will be 20000 rupees."

Crud. Even counting the coins he'd fished out of the gutter, he didn't even have 500 rupees. "Nooo!! I can't even afford the clothing to be a truly depressed goth!" He ran from the store in shame. The only thing to do in such a situation is to immerse oneself in one's own bad poetry until total depression is achieved.

-----

The cuddlebear(™): Not just a cute stuffed animal, but clinically proven to reduce stress in all who use one. A single cuddlebear can calm an anxious toddler down to a soothing sleep. But what would happen if a person were to take the cuddlyness of 50 bears and compact that into a single animal? Mad Science must have an answer!

...

As the reaction neared comletion, MatthewV checked his hazmat suit for any tears. After the timer dinged, he plunged the steel tongs into the smoky beaker and, not even looking at it, transfered the fuzzy object within to a lead-lined wooden box. One question remained: Who should be the first experimental subject? And only the mod himself could be a worthy target for all of this.

-----

"No! The mod is mine and mine alone!" shouted Chuck as he throttled MNOWAX.

MNOWAX tugged at Chuck's hands, trying to free his throat enough to breathe. But Chuck was too strong. As MNOWAX felt himself slipping from consciousness, he made one last-ditch effort and thrust his finger into Chuck's eye...

And it worked. Chuck fell back screaming. Not one to squander his advantage, MNOWAX's eyes cast about for another good weapon...

-----

MatthewV stared at MNOWAX and Chuck, unable to look away. The bitten off nose. The half-ripped-off ear. The screwdriver through the shoulder. The coffee pot through the stomach. And now Chuck was taking the stapler -- Oh, god! -- was he going to -- !? MatthewV doubled over and began retching. Almost instinctively, he ripped open his wooden box and removed the contents.

(Within 5 seconds of touching the 50X cuddlebear(™), MatthewV's stomach had stopped roiling. Within 10 seconds, his heart rate was normal. Within 20 seconds, he was asleep. Within 60 seconds, MatthewV had achieved total and permanent calmness. An impressive success for the 50X cuddlebear(™). Unfortunately, with MatthewV being dead, there was nobody to record this data and the results of the experiment were lost forever.)

-----

Meanwhile, at the black clothing store, was a demonstration that too much goth isn't good for one's health, either. Technically, Undercover Monk was still alive, but did not want to be (nor did anybody who got within a block of him, such was the concentration of his gothness). In any case, he lacked the will to participate further, so that might as well be dead.

-----

mathgrant and raekuul looked out of the RAF moderators' lounge at sAbLLimINal. "rm stepped out to get lunch, but we'll let him know you stopped by when he gets back."

Wait - was MNOWAX moving? sAbLLimINal quickly put a round through his skull to be sure. "rm had better be quick. He owes me one DSTM V trophy."

And as he walked away, he turned to make one parting crack. "You two are glacial mods."

"Oh, and sign up for Big Bro GL!"



sAbLLimINal wins!

Chuck: I'll fire at the Moderator.
-----
MatthewV: I would like to shoot mathgrant. But he isn't playing so I will shoot the air instead.

I think I'll kill you with a cuddlebear(tm)
-----
The Great Crep'er: I'll shoot myself.

With a dictionary, if you need a weapon.
-----
UM: I will shoot myself cause life is too depressing and i dont have enough cash to buy black clothes an go goth.
-----
sAbLLimINal: kill MNOWAX
-----
MNOWAX: shoot you

[The Great Crep'er]

I figured after my dice roll there was some chance sab would take me out (Maybe MNOWAX), oh well, if i really did I would have won so...yeah,

Good game, everyone!
_________________
Potato. Belgium. Eight. Random Lynch # Mafia awaits.

[sAbLLimINal]

Actually I was going to say that you didn't include yourself in the dice roll and you should do it again. But nevermind, works for me

Good game everyone.

[Undercover Monk]