Ready Aim Fire! Send for round 3

[wordcross]

I haven't a clue if anyone did one of these recently, but for those of you unfamiliar:

Ready Aim Fire (RAF for short [not to be confused with the Royal Air Force]) is like a multiplayer game of Rock Paper Scissors.

You have 3 choices each round:
1) Aim at another player
2) Aim at yourself
3) Aim at nothing/the air.

If you target air, nothing happens unless someone targets you, then you die.

If you target another player and someone else targets you, then you die.

If two players target each other, they both die.

If you aim at another player, then they die unless they have targeted themselves, in which case you die instead. This means:

If you target yourself and anyone else targets you, then you survive and they die. if you target yourself and no one else does, then you die.

Once you die, you are out of the game. The living will go on until there are less than 2 left.

I'll run this game without frills to see if there's interest and to give anyone new a chance to get a feel for the mechanics. If it goes well I'll do a more elaborate one after

Players Alive: (3)
Sessie
Chuck
bgg1996

Players Not so alive: (14)
Lexprod
Undercover Monk
IS
raekuul
Scurra
MattV
Silverfire
Amb
ralphmerridew
sAbLLimINal
MNOWAX
j_s
Chaz
Zag
_________________
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[Amb*]

Bang

[Chaz]

You know me.
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The enemy's base is down.

[Zag]

Well, I am 1 for 5 in this game. That is, 1 time I survived the first round; the other 4 times I did not. So what the heck.

[lexprod]

ready to aim and fire
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I'll have a P please...

[sAbLLimINal]

/in

[bgg1996]

/in.

[Sessie]

/in! Haven't done one in a while...wowsa.
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"I have an everyday religion that works for me: love yourself first, and everything else falls into line." --Lucille Ball

[raekuul]

I thought it was "target air", not "target nothing"

/in

[MNOWAX]

/in
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The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX

[ralphmerridew]

/aim

[Chuck]

/I agree to become a participant in this competitive activity.

[Internet Stranger]

/taking last spot.
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"I didn't know she was your sister I swear!"
www.InternetStranger.com

[wordcross]

Last spot? No such thing!

I'l leave signups open through tomorrow, then we'll get started Thursday morning
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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[Scurra]

Why not? Although I'd feel a lot happier if firing required you to answer some sort of trivial question correctly first.

/in
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_{still Quiz Olympiad champion. Must get a life.
New definitions: COFFEE - someone who is coughed upon}

[mv*]

I have the attention span for this game.

/shoots IS and takes the last spot.

[groza528]

[j_s*]

oh man RAF with Word? so very /in.

[Undercover Monk]

I never survive day 1 of RAF but....

/in
_________________
The Classic Blunders:
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia
2.Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
3. Never release Peyton Manning

[Silverfire]

/in

[wordcross]

Signups are now closed, please send your round 1 targets via PM. You may include a weapon of choice if you so desire, but it will only be for flavor. It will not affect the outcome of who lives and dies.

Choose wisely. Best of luck!
_________________
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[Sessie]

$.01 ::crosses fingers::
_________________
"I have an everyday religion that works for me: love yourself first, and everything else falls into line." --Lucille Ball

[Chaz]

$/100 for me too.
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The enemy's base is down.

[wordcross]

Received 9/17 submissions so far.
_________________
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[wordcross]

Got Two More. Waiting on Amb, sAbLLimINal, ralphmerridew, MattV, j_s, and silverfire.
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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[jesus_saves]

penny.

[Amb]

Whoops. Didnt see this had started. /1.Cent

[wordcross]

just waiting on sAbLLimINal and ralphmerridew now. I will prod them. Hopefully I'll have them by Tuesday night b/c that's when I next have time
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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[wordcross]

now just waiting on sAbLLimINal
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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[wordcross]

All entries received. Will do a write up tomorrow night and post round 1 results sometime Wednesday.
_________________
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[wordcross]

Here's the first half of the results:

Chuck and Lexprod climbed the sheer face of the island mountain, using the anchors they fashioned from broken airplane parts. As they finally reached the top, they pulled themselves over the edge and lay prone, catching their breath. There was a natural plateau surrounded by old-growth forest.
"All right," said lexprod, "the plane should be flying overhead any minute now."
"I hope you're right," said Chuck, " because otherwise this was a huge waste of time."
"It'll be here," lexprod assured him.
Sure enough, within a few minutes they could hear the sound of twin prop engines buzzing in the distance. They scanned the treeline and quickly spotted the small plane flying overhead.
"Now!" said lexprod, and he set off his flare. Chuck raised his as well, but caught it against his harness and dropped it off the edge of the peak. It fell several dozen feet before striking the rock below and discharging at the trees. The dry underbrush caught fire instantly and a blaze flared up, quickly engulfing the trees around it. It wasn't long before and entire side of the mountain seemed to be on fire.
"Dammit, Chuck" said lexprod, "that was our only other flare, and now it's... wasted...?" he trailed off as he noticed that the prop plane's engines sounded louder. Suddenly it burst from right above the burning trees and landed gracefully on the plateau. Lexprod and Chuck ran over as the pilot popped the hatch. "Hop in!" he yelled, waving them forward.
They both hauled themselves into the cabin of the tiny aircraft and strapped in as best they could. The plane took off once more as the smoke from the forest fire began to billow over the plateau.
"Thank you so much," said lexprod. "I can't believe you saw the flare. I figured it was a one in a million chance."
"I didn't see any flare," said the pilot. "But i saw the smoke from that fire, and then saw you guys stuck on the plateau back there. How'd you end up out here anyway?"
"Our plane went down on the other edge of the island. The three of us have been out here for almost six months"
"Three?" asked the pilot. "Is someone else down there?"
"Oh yeah," said Chuck, "MNOWAX is still down at the plane wreck. We should go back for him."
"Sorry," said the pilot, "but I'm dangerously low on fuel. We'll barely make it back as is, plus there's no place to land except that plateau there. We'll have to send help when we reach the mainland."
"Well, it's really his own fault for refusing to come with us. Scaredy cat."

MNOWAX saw the first burst from the mountain, then watched in horror as the mountain side began to burn. He'd *told* them it was a volcano! That's how island's got mountains in the first place! Now they'd certainly been swallowed by pouring lava as it burned through the forest.
But he'd be damned if he was going to be caught by the rumbling volcano (it almost seemed like more of a buzzing, but what else could it possibly be?). He'd been working on his boat for weeks now, weaving saplings and palm fronds into a large shallow sloop. The others had made fun of him for his "basket", but now he would be the one to survive, and they'd wish they'd listened (or they would if they were still alive). Pushing the basket boat out into the surf, he jumped in and hoisted his palm-leaf sail. The little craft quickly left the breakers behind and headed out for the open ocean.
Soon the burning island was just a smudge on the horizon, and MNOWAX sat back and watched as the smoke spiraled up from the "volcano". Suddenly, he noticed that his feet were wet. looking at the bottom of the boat, he noticed that there was water seeping in through the weave. "No big deal," he thought. It wasn't seeping very fast, surely he could just bail whenever the water got deep enough to be worrisome. Pretty soon, though, the seeping was worse, and several spots seemed to be working loose and sprouting full-blown leaks.
Then a giant shark ate his boatsket.

Living:
Chuck - Air
Lexprod - The Sky

Dead:
MNOWAX - Self - Basket


Meanwhile, bgg1996, Silverfire, and Sessie were riding across the moors in search of the Holy Grail. As they crested a rise, there was a sudden flurry of booms and explosions. Their cocounts reared up and pranced nervously. Silverfire was suddenly struck by silver fire and was instantly vaporized into a cloud of smoke. As the smoke cleared, a figure in blue robes was revealed. Sessie stepped forward.
"What manner of man are you that can summon up fire without flint or tinder?"
"I... am an enchanter."
"By what name are you known?"
"There are those who would call me... raekuul?"
"Greetings raekuul the enchanter!"
"Greetings, Sessie!"
"You know my name?"
"I do." raekuul sent forth another fireball to punctuate his statement. "You seek the Holy Grail!"
"That is our quest," replied Sessie. "You know much that is hidden, O raekuul."
"Quite." Pointing his staff at a stunted tree, raekuul incinerated it with a very rocket-like fireball. Everyone applauded politely.
"Yes," said Sessie. "We're, we're looking for the Grail. Our quest is to find the Holy Grail."
"Yup, that's right" said bgg.
"And so we're, we're, we're, we're looking for it," Sessie continued. "We have been for some time."
"Ages," said bgg.
Sessie paused. "Uh, so, uh, anything you can do to, uh, to help, would be... very... helpful..."
bgg stepped forward. "Look, can you tell us wh-"
A fireball spewed forth at his feet, and he leapt back with alacrity.
Sessie looked nervous. "Fine, um, I don't want to waste anymore of your time, but, uh I don't suppose you could, uh, tell us where we might find a, um... find a, uh, a, um, a uh--"
"A what...!?" growled raekuul.
"A g--, a g--"
"A Grail?!"
"Yes, I think so," replied Sessie.
"Yes!"
The pair was surprised.
"Oh, thank you-" began bgg. Raekuul proceeded to blow up several more offending rocks. Sessie ducked instinctively.
"Look, you're a busy man, uh--"
"Yes, I can help you find the Holy Grail," said raekuul. "To the north there lies a cave -- the cave of Caer Bannog wherein, carved in mystic runes upon the very living rock, the last words of Ulfin Bedweer of Regett proclaim the last resting place of the most Holy Grail."
"Where could we find this cave, O raekuul?"
"Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth." raekuul demonstrated with his fingers just now nasty the teeth were.
"What an eccentric performance," said Sessie to her companion.

And so they set off for the cave of Caer Bannog. It was a long journey, and fraught with very perilous peril. Finally, they arrived at their destination.
"Behold the cave of Caer Bannog!" declared raekuul
"Right!" said Sessie. "Keep me covered."
"Too late!" screamed raekuul.
"What?" asked Sessie, confused
"There he is!" said raekuul.
"Where?"
"There!"
"What, behind the rabbit?"
"It is the rabbit!"
Sessie paused, bewildered. "You silly sod! You got us all worked up!"
"Well, that's no ordinary rabbit," protested raekuul. "That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on."
"What's he do, nibble your bum?" asked bgg.
Raekuul gestured wildly. "He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!"
"Oh shut up," said bgg. He drew his sword and lopped of raekuul's head. "How's that for huge and sharp?"
Sessie, meanwhile, was approaching the rabbit. All of a sudden, the rabbit leapt up at Sessie's throat!
"Fluffy!" exlaimed Sessie as she caught the flying bunny in her arms. "I thought I'd never see you again!"
"Aaaah, what!?" Silverfire crawled out from the cave, waving her sword wildly. "He was supposed to tear you to bits!"
"Silverfire! I thought you were dead!" re-exclaimed Sessie.
"Of course I wasn't! But you left me behind! I nearly died trying to follow you! You'll pay for all the pain!"
Sessie stroked the bunny's fur. "I guess I know who my real friends are now. Fluffy... kill!" Fluffy leapt from her arms and took silverfire's head off at the neck. As the blood spewed from her neck stump, bgg joined sessie in congratulating fluffy on his excellent execution. "Well, looks like that's over with. Now let's go find that Grail!"

Living:
bgg1996 - raekuul
Sessie - Self with real friends

Dead:
raekuul - Silverfire with silver fire
Silverfire - Sessie with Fluffy the terrible

I'll get the other half of the results up tomorrow.
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[Silverfire]

Aww, I'm dead. And I'm a girl. But at least I was defeated by The Power of Friendship! Thanks Wordy!

[wordcross]

oops! My mistake. *goes to fix it*
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[raekuul]

Aww, piffle. I should have attacked myself with Soki or Spicy Dragon or Tenterlion or something else that would have made no sense to everyone else here.

[Sessie]

I survived round 1! YAY!! And I got to be in a Python results scene! DOUBLE YAY!!

Thanks for the rescue, SF...that's the true meaning of friendship.
_________________
"I have an everyday religion that works for me: love yourself first, and everything else falls into line." --Lucille Ball

[MNOWAX]

FInally everyone got the message not to target me! lol
_________________
The Man The Myth The Legend
MNOWAX

[Amb]

I am, thankfully, still alive...

[wordcross]

Part 2 (of 3)

"I won the bet fair and square!" argued Zag. "And you said you would kiss whomever I told you to."
"Yeah, 'who' is the-"
"Whom."
"Whatever! The point is I'm not going to kiss the damn frog." sAbLLimINal crossed his arms and scowled at Zag.
"Fine, you're breaking the bet, so I get a free hit."
"What?" sAbLLimINal uncrossed his arms. "Since when?"
"Since forever. You break a bet, you get hit. Those are the rules."
"Bullshit. That's not a rule."
"Hey, I don't make the rules. And why else do you think people follow through on their bets? 'Cause they know if they don't, then 'POW', right in face."
"What, why the face!? That shit hurts!"
"Obviously! That's the point. I thought I was making this clear." Zag cracked his knuckles and limbered up his shoulder. "All right, now stand right there and try not to flinch. It'll only hurt more." He reared back to deliver the blow.
"Whoaheynowait!" sAbLLimINal raised his hands in surrender. "I'll do it! I'll kiss the freaking frog. Geez."
"Good. I hate having to hit people. They always think I was too harsh on them. I'm just enforcing the rules, that's all."
"Well it's a stupid rule. Whatever. Where's this frog, then?"
"Right there, on the rock by the pond."
"Colorful little bugger isn't he?" sAbLLimINal bent down and picked up the frog. "Here, I'm kissing the frog. Yeesh, you're a freaking weirdo." He kissed the frog and then quickly dropped it as he began to spit and cough. "Aaugh! That's freaking disgusting! Ugh, and it burns!"
Suddenly, the frog began to grow and change shape. By the time sAbLLimINal died from the frog poison, the frog had morphed into Chaz!
"Oh *finally*," said Chaz. "I thought I was going to be a frog forever! Thanks Zag."
"Hey, no problem. He was getting on my nerves anyway."
"Still, what a rough way to go. Who knew I'd be a poisonous frog?"
"Eh, at least I didn't have to hit him. That would have been a rougher way to go."

(Also, ChaZag sounds weird.)

Alive:
Zag - sAbLLimINal
Chaz - Self - Frog

Dead:
sAbLLimINal - chaz


Undercover Monk leaned against the rail of the swaying ship, already miserable after less than a day at sea. His breakfast had come up almost as soon as they'd left port, and he hadn't kept anything down since. They still had three more days before they'd dock again, and by that time he was sure it would be too late. He wasn't even sure he'd survive the first day, much less four.

Scurra, in the meantime, had been exploring. It was a large ship, but he wasn't content to roam the decks or the hallways. He wanted to know what was stashed in the out-of-the-way places. Ships had tons of cool stuff, if you just knew where to look.
In fact, he was pretty sure he had stumbled on a jackpot. There was a large space right next to the hull that he hadn't been able to find a doorway to. He could tell it was there because he'd been in the rooms above, below, and beside it. There had to be a hatch somewhere, but it was certainly well hidden. Only the awesomest stuff would be so inaccessible. He had to get inside!
He spent a lot of time in the room above, but even after pulling up the carpet, he saw no secret hatch. (as it happens it was Undercover Monk's room, but he was constantly at the rail, so it was as good as unoccupied.) The walls from the same deck had no doors, so that meant it had to be in the ceiling of the lower room. He trudged back down, but as he did he noticed something odd. The stairs weren't bolted to the hull, it seemed as though they actually ran *through* the hull. A light clicked on in his head and he dashed back up the stairs. He ran into UM's room and popped open the porthole. He stuck his head out and looked down. Sure enough, there were narrow stairs on the outside of the ship.
Squeezing himself through the round window, he managed to pull himself out onto the stairs. He clung to them as the wind whipped at him, threatening to rip him away and into the sea below. He glanced outward and saw a giant shark eating a basket. He shuddered and made his way downward. It wasn't far, and there was a proper hatch at the bottom. He turned the wheel and pulled open the door.
Jackpot!
A large cannon sat unused in the center of the room. Around it sat a crate of cannonballs, a barrel of powder, a pack of fuses, and a ramrod. Scurra rubbed his hands together and a huge grin split his face. Now if he could just find a way to get it out of there...

Undercover Monk was still at the rail, having just given up the last of his agave juice. He was seriously contemplating jumping overboard just to be free from the misery, but he was too sick to move. Turning around to slump against the railing, he saw what must have been a hallucination. Someone had dragged an ancient cannon out on deck and was aiming it right at him. He rubbed his eyes and peered at the person loading it. It looked an awful lot like Scurra. He watched as maybe-Scurra stuck a fuse into the powder hole, lit it, and stuck his fingers in his ears.
There was a flash, a very loud boom, a whooshing sound, then a rather painful *pop* in his ears. Dazed, he stood up just in time to notice that Scurra has been knocked overboard by the recoil from the cannon. He rushed over to try to help, but it was too late. A small splash was all that he saw. And then a bigger splash as the giant Shark enjoyed his dessert.
UM blinked and then straightened. "Huh.... I don't feel sick anymore. You know, I think the drop in pressure from that cannonball whizzing by must have popped my inner-ear thingy. Hurray!"

Alive:
Undercover Monk - self - depressing thoughts of not surviving day 1.

Dead:
Scurra - Undercover Monk with large cannon
_________________
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[Chaz]

Princess Chazmin!

Oh... wait... the frog was a prnce huh?

Prince ChaZag! =D
_________________
The enemy's base is down.

[wordcross]

Part 3 (last part)

Amb, MattV, and ralphmerridew sat planning their attacks. "I vote we attack Internet Stranger," said MattV. "He's a wildcard, he could attack anyone, at any moment!"
"Are you kidding?" asked Amb. "That guy's luck is surreal. We attack him and we're just as likely to die ourselves! No thank you."
"Besides, jesus_saves is a more important target," said ralphm. "The longer she goes on living, the stronger her Jesus powers get! We have no choice but to kill her now and save ourselves from certain death later."
"Seriously? Guys, she doesn't have Jesus powers. She's just a normal person." MattV looked at them like they were crazy.
"Hey, you can take your chances if you want, but I'm not about to let a Cosmic Jewish Zombie do me in." Amb turned to ralphm. "Right?"
"Right."
MattV threw up his hands. "Fine, I guess I'll have to do it myself." He stormed out of the room and went in search of IS.
Amb and ralphm continued to plot. "I say we stab her through the hands," said Amb. "It's the only way to make sure she doesn't use her Jesus-fu on us!"
"Right," agreed ralphm. "Jesus can't save her then!"

Jesus_saves sat in the Starbucks across from the Starbucks next to the Starbucks a block down from the Starbucks in a Harris Teeter on the floor above a Starbucks. Her caramel apple spice latte was nice and warm, which was a wonderful contrast to the frigid temperatures outside. She sipped it slowly, enjoying the sensation of heat radiating out from her stomach. It was a good thing, too, because the door flew open and let it a burst of wintry air as two shady looking characters entered the Starbucks across from the Starbucks next to the Starbucks a block down from the Starbucks in a Harris Teeter on the floor above a Starbucks.

Amb and ralphm, meanwhile, were in the Starbucks up the street from the Starbucks across from the Starbucks next to the Starbucks behind the IHOP.
"Are you sure this is the right one? I'm tired of checking every Starbucks in Boston." ralphm shook the snow off his coat and stamped his feet to get warm. "And I'm cold."
"This has got to be it! I've got a feeling this time. I think we're in the right place." Amb pulled the nails out of his jacket pocket. ralphm pulled a hammer of of his.
"Look!" pointed amb. "There she is, in the corner with her back to us. This is perfect!" He and ralphm quietly crept up behind her. Amb got the nails ready. "Now!" he yelled, grabbing a hand and positioning a nail as ralphm brought the hammer down. "Haha! We've got you now, jesuuuuuaaaaaooooyyyyou have a beard. Oh shit."
"Oh for Pete's sake, again? Can't a son of God have a cup of coffee without someone trying to recrucify him?" Jesus turned to Amb and ralphm and looked them in the eyes. "You know, it gets less and less effective each time. One of these days the holes will just stay open and it won't even matter anymore. Here." Jesus pulled his hand up and off of the nail, then grabbed it and yanked it from the table. "Here, you can have that back. I'd scold you, but it won't matter in a few minutes."
"W...w... why? What happens in a few minutes?" asked Amb.
"Nothing you need to worry about. Now will you *please* leave me alone? I really need my caffeine right now."
Amb and ralphm couldn't leave fast enough. As they fell over each other to get out the door, a huge truck pulling out of the drive-thru ran over both of them. The truck driver jumped out, panicking over the two customers he had seemingly mowed down. "Jesus!" he exclaimed. "What am I gonna do?"
"I'd say you're alright," said Jesus, closing the door behind him. "After all, I forgive you, and that's all that really matters in the end." He looked around for a minute? "Hey, is that another Starbucks? Man, those things are freaking everywhere."

MattV, meanwhile, was still looking for IS. Do or die time, and MattV was a do kind of guy. After hours of wandering the snow-filled streets, he finally found his target. "Internet Stranger, it's time for you to die!" he yelled.
"Wha- oh. It's you MattV. You know, I think you should rethink this. I mean, you don't even have a weapon on you. How are you going to kill me?"
"I've voted to lynch you! the lynch mob will be here any second!"
IS waited. "You... do know that lynch mobs don't actually work like that, right?"
"Just wait, they'll be here." MattV was still scowling.
"Right... um, listen, I'm kinda busy not dying over here, so I'm gonna go. Nice seeing you again." With that IS wandered off again.
MattV waited, not wanting to miss the lynch mob. "They'll come! I know they will!" he yelled after IS's retreating form.
And come they did, only when they found out that the lynchee has taken off, they decided to lynch MattV instead. "Gotta lynch someone," said the mob. [Collectively. That's how mobs work.]

(the word Starbucks is starting to look weird)
(also, ralphmb looks weird.)

Alive:
j_s - self - caramel apple spice latte from SB
IS - self

Dead:
amb - j_s - through the hands.
ralphmerridew - j_s (does not save)
MattV - IS - Vote and kill
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