I Live in a Sitcom! and Other Humorous Life Stories

[Courk]

I'm pretty certain my immediate family are fantastic sitcom characters. Living with them my whole life has made me fairly accustomed to this, though we apparently do not film in front of a live studio audience. I just hope they don't add the laugh track later. I am now going to share some stories of my family, and hope that other people at least have comedic episodes in their lives to share, as well.

My dad's description of dinner one night yielded his character's catch-phrase: "Boneless chicken bones, with no bones!"

My bother and I were for some reason making chicken clucking sounds (really, episodes probably just have a cold opening with no further explanation of events leading up to that moment). My brother said "Bu-caw!" And then we paused, quietly looking at each other for a solid 3-5 seconds before exclaiming, in unison, "[i]Pi[i]-card" as if a pair of chickens needed the Captain himself.

My 4'11" mom would constantly ask me or my dad to reach things in the cupboard. I would tell her to grow up (my catch phrase). I then bought her a stool. She stores cases of pop on that stool and asks us to reach things in the cupboard.

Yesterday my mom, the John Denver, Johnny Cash, and Queen fan, asked me "Who is that guy, the singer? He sings that song I like? He's dead?" She meant Israel Kamakawiwoʻole.

Another conversation with my mom, in a movie theater, while watching J. Edgar:
Her: *Hey. What are they doing?*
Me: *...Eating breakfast* I wait to get told off for such a smart aleck answer -- surely she wants to know what era, what political problem they're discussing, etc. No.
Her: *Oh... What are those?*
Me: *...Eggs*