Women 101

[Hitchhiker]

[just butting in] I have to agree with Antrax that dating a woman who wants you to give up your friends is a BAD IDEA. 1) Your friends were there first. 2) She'll start telling you to give up other things next. 3)She could be a total psycho. Didn't you see Saving Silverman?[/jbi]

[SoSuMi]

How does a girl feel when she discovers that she's competing for a guy, WITH ANOTHER GUY?

[Ningal]

[unofficial Ningal answer] Big deal. However, if a guy is running a contest rather than trying, within reason, to make some kind of room (even just a casual friendship) for all involved, I'd say he probably isn't worth it. [/uNa]

Now for Mackay to give her thoughts on the question...

[Mackay]

What is the best pickup/opening line ever used on you? I've never had a good pickup line used on me. Drunk guys will usually get as far as commenting on my breasts before I leave. Sorry I can't help.

And the one you used on someone else? I don't use pickup lines. I just act friendly and see what eventuates.

How does a girl feel when she discovers that she's competing for a guy, WITH ANOTHER GUY? Well, I liked Ningal's answer. But really, wouldn't it be best just to find out where the guy in question's preferences lay? I mean, there's no point competing for a guy if he's gay.

And females... please, feel free to help me out here, I suck at these questions.

[at these questions]

How important is maturity in a prospective mate?

[MatthewV]

best pickup line: hello

[Suki]

Better pick-up line: Hello, I'm RSA.

[Mackay]

How important is maturity in a prospective mate? Hmmmm, well, that's entirely up to the individual woman, isn't it?

[Vegtable2001]

What is your biggest interest when getting into a relationship?

[Mackay]

What is your biggest interest when getting into a relationship? Me? I like a guy with a sense of humour, who can keep up his end of a conversation. It also helps if he's a scrawny geek.

[Hotter than Hy]

like me!

[Mackay]

Exactly. *snog*

[Vegtable2001]

I meant why do you want to get in a relationship. What do you want to take out of it?

[Mackay]

Honestly, I would settle for mutual amounts of affection at the moment. I've been through an extremely tough time with my relationships recently, they've all been exceedingly unbalanced, with one of us caring way too much about the other, and the other party not caring enough. This has happened way too many times. I just want to have fun with a person who cares about me approximately as much as I do about them.

...I can't say I'm speaking for womankind though.

[CrystyB]

i guess the one caring 'too much' was you in all cases?

[Beartalon]

[Mackay]

[World Society of Women]

TRAITOR!

[Ghost Post]

why do chicks like lame stuff like talking on the phone, dancing, shopping, etc.?

[Mackay]

why do chicks like lame stuff like talking on the phone, dancing, shopping, etc.? Well, I can't speak for the dancing - I am strictly anti-dancing. As for the others, well, because it's FUN! Although shopping is only fun when you have lots of money to buy stuff. And talking on the phone is only fun when the other person is someone you want to be talking to. But... I don't know. I don't get how you guys DON'T enjoy stuff like that.

[Antrax]

Shopping cons:

• Takes time which could've been dedicated to the computer.
  
• Has to be done standing up.
  
• Is usually done outdoors (~shudder~).
  
• Costs money.
  
• Is dangerously close to physical exercise
  

What are the pros?
Though I could see some appeal in online shopping, too bad it costs money.
Antrax


------------------
"If it comes down to a choice between being unloved and being vulnerable and sensitive and emotional, then you can just keep your love." -Victor Mancini, "Choke"

[Ningal]

1-3, 5: These are good things. Staying on the computer all day gets boring and, more importantly, depressing and painful after enough hours. The change of pace is nice.

4: Got me there. On the other hand, one acquires Things in exchange. Nice, shiny, new Things. *does impression of Fighter from 8-Bit Theater*

So nyer. Or something.

[CrystyB]

Takes time, period. Not necessarily from the computer, but from any other enjoyable activity.

And perhaps this might help you understand us better: generally speaking, men think more reason-oriented, while women more feeling-oriented. Perhaps we can't find any logic in being picky about such unworthy things, while you quest for the one that seems just right...

[Ningal]

1. Yes, but it is an enjoyable activity!

2. IME, it's not so much about questing for something that seems Just Right (though even I've been known to do this with clothes, thanks to the fact that clothes I actually look human in are few and far between) as about the shininess of acquiring Things. Things! Shiny! Whee!

[Neo]

I think what CB was trying to allude to is...When guys shop, we walk into a store knowing what we want or need (at least a general idea) go find it, pay and leave. Unless it's an electronics store.

[Neo]

Why does friend Jane, trick me into going underwear shopping with her? And why does she never expect my standard answers to her questions that are designed to slightly embarrass her as a means of revenge for her dirty trick? (ex: Her: What do you think about this? Me: *pausing until people are near, then replying loudly* What does it matter how it looks or whatnot? It'll just end up in a crumpled pile near my bed!")

[This message has been edited by Neo (edited 07-12-2003 01:42 AM).]

[Neo]

bump, this is an important thread!

[EEEM]

I know I'm late. I never come to this forum. But I'm going to put in my two cents on the lists. ::snogs lepton::

Holding a door open (arriving first at the door, holding open until you pass through)
If the guy arrived at the door first and didn't hold it open for me that would be rude, but if I arrived first and didn't hold it open for him, I would be rude. I basically think it's rude to let the door fall in someone's face, but it isn't necessary for a guy to rush to the door in order to be the first there and hold it open.

Holding a door open for another person
Same applies here.

Opening and closing your car door
Never had that done for me. Definitely not expected or necessary, but it wouldn't be too much on occasion, especially if I had my hands full.

When dropping you off, not leaving until certain that you're safely inside
I always do this when dropping friends off. I think it's common courtesy, but if someone didn't do it I wouldn't be upset. It has saved my friends from being locked out on a couple of occasions when they forgot keys and no one was home.

Standing when you enter the room
Unless it was standing to come and give me a hug, I think I'd be a little weirded out.

Standing at a dinner table until you sit
Never thought about it. Formality that isn't necessary.

Ordering food for you
I would hate that. I can make up my own mind. Making a suggestion is perfectly acceptable, but let me order my own dinner, dammit!

Paying the bill (and tips, if applicable), paying for the ticket, etc.
If a guy asked me out to dinner or a movie or wherever and made it clear it was a date, I would assume he was paying. If he didn't offer, I wouldn't be put out. If I ask a guy out I extend the same courtesy and pay for him. When dating regularly I think it's pretty unfair to expect the guy to pay all the time. Splitting the bill or switching off on who pays when is great, I think. It's always worked out in my relationships that who ever can pay does pay. It's always been pretty equal.

Walking on the road side when on a sidewalk
I didn't even know this tradition existed until I read it in a book somewhere. I think around here it's not common knowledge that at one point that was the polite thing to do (so the lady didn't get chamber pots poured on her head ). Since the reason for it no longer applies, aside from getting splashed by vehicles on the road, I guess, I don't see it as a necessary courtesy.

Giving others at most cursory recognition when obviously with you
Totally depends on the situation and the people the recognition is given to. If we're out to dinner or just hanging about on an ordinary kind of occasion and friends are spotted I think it's great to engage them in conversation and be friendly. If it's a special occasion or an intimate occasion, the attention given to others should be less. Checking out random girls while out with me should be kept to a minimum.

Always have reservations
Rarely have reservations. Only for special occasions. I can't plan anything ahead.

Always have multiple reservations, to be flexible
If on an occasion where that seems necessary, maybe. But generally, no. Nice gesture though, ever thoughtful.

Dress slightly better than what would be worn if alone
I don't do this, I don't expect others to do so. I'm such a slob it's not even funny.

Have the radio tuned to your favourite station (or a CD/tape you like in the deck)
Only if it's something you enjoy as well. I wouldn't want you to feel plagued by my music if you didn't like it. Finding common ground on this one would be key.

Always drive (if appropriate)
Not necessary.

Know of a good spot to eat, bowl, walk around, etc.
Good. Especially if I wouldn't have suggestions in the area.

Able how to fix anything
Why would I expect that? It's always impressive, but I wouldn't hold it against you if you didn't.

Able to open even the toughest jar
A good thing to have around...

Able to carry you piggy-back-style indefinately
I rather enjoy the use of my legs, thankyou.

Willing to clear social calender, even just for something relatively simple
Definitely not expected. It's nice to be flexible but I never assume I'm the most important thing in someone's life. I totally understand other obligations, and just other desires. I always want to be fairly independent and wouldn't require complete submission and attention from anyone.

Always understand what you say without clarification
Are you a god? Half the time I don't even know what I mean.

Doesn't look at other women when with you
As long as I don't notice... I would hope that if you're with me you're not trying to scope out a date for the next day, so it'd be gentlemanly if you wouldn't divert attention to check out other girls while we're out together.

[Lepton]

I was talking with God (Hy) a while ago and he told me something that I'll never forget.

Women shouldn't ever have to pay for anything while on a date or otherwise. Women spend money making themselves look nice, and Men spend money on women.
Thanks for bumping this, Elissa-poo ~snogs~
And that's the way the world works.

[EEEM]

I don't spend money making myself look nice.

[Lepton]

It must come naturally, in that case.

Sports figures get paid millions just because they can hit a ball really hard...

[Beartalon]

I have four older sisters. After watching them suck the dregs of a few guy's wallets, I'm never spending money on women...

[Chuck]

The Three Laws of Relationships:

1. There are rules governing every relationship but men aren't entitled to know what they are.
2. Women can change the rules without notice.
3. Women can change the rules retroactively, so even of you're doing the right thing now by tomorrow you'll have been wrong.

[CrystyB]

[Neo]

Not really CB. If you're walking side-by-side w/ a girl, and the car hits you, it'll most likely hit her. If it doesn't, it's not because of you

[Hitchhiker]

My reasoning is: if the guy is making more money (and he usually is), he should be the one to pay most of the time. When two college students are dating and both broke, the girl could offer to pay half the time.

[casinopete]

Good Grief.

Who cares who pays? This is (by which I mean, "should be") a complete non-issue in every way.

[Ningal]

quote:

---

Ordering food for you
I would hate that. I can make up my own mind. Making a suggestion is perfectly acceptable, but let me order my own dinner, dammit!

---

I think what was intended was that the other party ask what you want and then relay that to the waiterperson.

[EEEM]

I don't know... I've seen guys order for their girls because they think they know what they'll like. I once saw a guy cut up a girl's food for her (after ordering it for her) when the girl was completely capable of cutting up her own food. I guess stuff like that just makes it look as if a woman is incompetant. And we're not. I probably just read too much into it.

[Ghost Post]

that sounds cool. i wish someone would order for me and cut up my food.