Poet's Arena! -Round 3 started!

[The DogPack]

The following were found in the out tray at Asimere Kennels Inc. From the paw-work we deduced the authors, and give a potted summary of their personalities.

LoopyDog: Brit Upperclass Twit red setter
Tinselled tree aglow
With Christmas lights; now burning
LD lifts a leg.

ChienFou: French poodle, earthy, d'une age certaine
Va encore en France
Pour celebrer Le Noel
CF baise BS

AhoInu: Hard-working studious Japanese
AhoInu queues hours
To get a ticket (Oh Joy)
For Beethoven's Ninth

[Werebear]

Holidays, busy
A time to buy gifts for all
Planning, cleaning, work

Puzzles, games, are late
In times like these it happens
Not too big a deal.

Except I forgot
Something I wish for all you -
Sits in these haikus.

[Termital]

Yay! All are in! Time to get the votes rolling!
As usual, all you reading this may rate as many of the haikus as you like from -5 to 5, by posting here/e-mailing me/IMing me/astrally projecting your thoughts/whatever.

Beartalon:

Seasonal Feelings

Christmas is lonely
For those without family
Darkened heavy hearts

I gave you a gift
You asked for the sales receipt
Love unwrapped, tossed out

Paper, tape, ribbons
And bow to mask my sad eyes
Wrapping for the hurt

Sofis:

Midvinterblot

Pig's blood tinting snow
bearded men, pleading to gods
Please give back the sun.

Hitchhiker:

Office Party

Boss wears mistletoe
Topless file clerks table-dance
Who spiked the eggnog?

"Thank you for the gift!"
(I hope it's not that fruitcake
I gave you last year...)

Werebear:

[Why I'm late excuse]

Holidays, busy
A time to buy gifts for all
Planning, cleaning, work

Puzzles, games, are late
In times like these it happens
Not too big a deal.

Except I forgot
Something I wish for all you -
Sits in these haikus.



[This message has been edited by Termital (edited 01-07-2003 08:43 AM).]

[Werebear]

I think I'd prefer to call it The Hidden Wish. *G*

[Sofis]

This time, I'll refrain from making it obvious .

[Hitchhiker]

But it's a very nice thought. Even if Pablo already has it.

[casinopete]

my preferred method of judgement is to pick my favorite and rate that one.
(although for Werebear this is of course inadequate)
so:

Beartalon:

I gave you a gift
You asked for the sales receipt
Love unwrapped, tossed out

this is quite simply superb: 4

Sofis:

Pig's blood tinting snow
bearded men, pleading to gods
Please give back the sun.

outside the box, every word packed: 3

Hitchhiker:

"Thank you for the gift!"
(I hope it's not that fruitcake
I gave you last year...)

hilarious, has the most haiku-ish feel of the entrants (imo; i'm certainly no expert): 3

Werebear:

Holidays, busy
A time to buy gifts for all
Planning, cleaning, work

Puzzles, games, are late
In times like these it happens
Not too big a deal.

Except I forgot
Something I wish for all you -
Sits in these haikus.

very cute, pleasant, i think the "hidden" message probably constrained you too much, though: 1


please note, i take the -5 to 5 seriously, so consider these votes a 10,9,9,7 out of 11.

[Werebear]

If I can't have fun as well as fulfill the requirements, then why play?

[kevinatilusa]

Scores without comments (for now)

Beartalon: 2
Sofis: 3
Hitchhiker: 2
Werebear: 4

[Dragon Phoenix]

Sofis 5 (for the vivid imagery)

Beartalon 4

Hithchiker 3
Werebear 3

As I walk through the park
A snowflake kisses my head
This year will be great!

[Werebear]

(DP, the first line of a haiku is 5 syllables, not 6)

will vote tomorrow.

[Sofis]

Originally posted by Werebear:

---

Haven't checked VG
in some time, been "real life" busy -
Haiku to come soon

---

Werebear, the second line of a haiku has seven syllables, not eight.

[Dragon Phoenix]

And who says it was a haiku?

[Beartalon]

Sofis: 5 - evocative imagery
Hithchiker: 4 - made me laugh
Werebear: 3 - so different from mine, hard to score
Beartalon: 3 - I depress myself

[This message has been edited by Beartalon (edited 01-09-2003 04:54 AM).]

[Werebear]

Faugh... and I purposely substitued "too" with "real-life" because I thought I was one short. *Beats self with punctuation stick* too late now.

[Werebear]

My votes -

Sofis - 5. Excellent.
Hitchhiker - 4. Funny.
Beartalon - 3. don't depress yourself, 'Talon!!!
Werebear - I don't vote for myself unless our votes are ADDED and not AVERAGED, in which case I'll give myself a 2, one below my own lowest vote.
Dragon Phoenix - -5

[Beartalon]

BUMP - I don't want to let this move to page two...

[PuzzleProdigy]

The judging will be stricter next round, I promise...

Beartalon: 2
Sofis: *makes "over my head" gesture* 2
Hitchhiker: LOL! 4
Werebear: 2

[Sofis]

I suppose it's impolite to get points from my fellow poets without giving any back. Under the assumption that the rules from reply 60 apply:

Beartalon 4 (For the middle haiku, really. I think it would have made a better stand-alone, though it's dubious it could have been called seasonal on its own).
Hitchhiker 3
Werebear 2

[Termital]

As thread drops lower,
it is only too proper
to bump it back to top.

[Termital]

If you're reading this, scroll up a few posts back, read the one containing all submission and rate as many as you feel like from -5 to 5! And that's an order!

*wanders if moving this thread to OT or EI would produce more voters*

[PuzzleProdigy]

I have already
rated these poems. All works of
art, truly great things.

[Termital]

bum-bum-baba-bump
baba-bumbum-bum baa bump
bumbum -ba-ba-bump Bump!

---
And Vote I said Vote you please Vote

[This message has been edited by Termital (edited 01-19-2003 08:27 PM).]

[Termital]

This has stalled long enough, so I'll just give it another day in a visible spot, and then tally results. Now's the time to get all your friends to shamelessly give everybody fives (5 for you, -5 for the rest to be exact ).

If anybody feels like it, read post #82, and rate as many haikus as you feel from -5 to 5. It's that simple!

[UnheardVoice]

Beartalon: 0 - If the poet had the 2nd haiku by itself, then it would have gotten a higher score. The 1st haiku's 3rd line isn't the best of imagery, for this theme, at least. And I'm afraid the 3rd haiku just doesn't make sense, at least to me.

Sofis: 5 - Not only was there excellent imagery (enough to make an entire scene), but the poet takes full advantage of the haiku structure.

Hitchhiker: 2 - I believe that the 2nd haiku's last two lines could have been improved for a better score.

Werebear: 2 - Good composition, but not extraordinary.


------------------
Music is the traveller crossing our world,
Meeting so many people, bridging the seas...
~ I'm Just a Singer (In a Rock and Roll Band), The Moody Blues

[Hitchhiker]

Sofis: 5 - Simply sublime
'Talon: 3 - for the middle one; evocative
Werebear: 2 - cute

[VinnyQ]

Sofis: 4
Hithchiker: 4
Beartalon: 3
Werebear: 2

[NOT Werebear]

Um, 5 for Werebear, -5 for all the rest.

NOT Werebear. Nope, nope, nope nope nope nope nope nope.

[Beartalon]

UnheardVoice: you're right. The three poems were evocative of my feelings one morning, and they all make sense taken together if you knew what scenario I was thinking. #3 makes no sense without #2.

Termital: Time for a tally, I think. It's been three days since the last post, and we've all voted.

[Werebear]

Please include the NUMBER of votes a poem received too.

[Hitchhiker]

I dunno who Hithchiker is, but she got 11 points.

[Sofis]

Unofficial count, not counting votes for self:

Sofis	37	9 votes: 1x2 2x3 1x4 5x5
Hitchhiker	29	9 votes: 2x2 3x3 4x4
Beartalon	25	9 votes: 1x0 2x2 3x3 3x4
Werebear	21	9 votes: 1x1 5x2 2x3 1x4

[Werebear]

The muses' light fades
A purple shroud on this thread
Darkness covers all

[Termital]

First of all, I'm sorry for all the delay. I've been trying my damndest to entice people to vote, but have still failed. Seeing that even the Chinese Ney Year celebrations have past, it is now time to move this on to the next round..

The poets are feeling a little more confident now, seeing that they survived a round. The proccess is repeated in the much familiar manner, and when all voting is done, only werebear is left in the arena. He's facing the about-to-be-opened porticullis with some confidence. After all, he is a bear. He can surely give that tiger a run for his money, maybe even win. As the doors open, he sees a sole human figure coming out of shadow's shroud with an odd limp. Could it, can it possibly be.. Werebear speaks his last haiku as he is locked in battle with wordcross's half-eaten zombie. Needless to say, only one of them could die, and that was werebear.

Next subject is horror, of any sort. Form is a minimum of thirteen rhyming lines in iambic thirteen syllable metre.

Also, I would like your opinions as to whether it would be a good idea to move this thread in OT or EI, where more audience may see it and vote. This contest is becoming much too inbred for my liking.

[This message has been edited by Termital (edited 02-08-2003 05:31 AM).]

[Sofis]

[Beartalon]

13 rhyming lines. So twelve have to rhyme and we can end with a variant, or do we have to vary a rhyming scheme to include the thirteenth?

Iambic meter. This poem will kill me.

[Termital]

If you use an odd number of lines, you may leave an out-of-rhyme line in the start, middle, or end.

I'm expecting the stresses to go like

sSsSsSsSsSsSs
sSsSsSsSsSsSs

Clear now?

[Sofis]

About the meter, yes. About the rhymes, do you mean it has to be built out of rhyming couplets and no other rhyme scheme is acceptable? It has to be AABBCCDDEEFF and so on, with an X somewhere if there is an odd number of lines? ABACBCDCDEDEAA wouldn't do, for instance?

[This message has been edited by Sofis (edited 02-09-2003 07:32 AM).]

[Termital]

I just specified rhyming. You get to pick the way, be it aabb, abab, abba, abcabc or whatever. Just not aabcbdeffag please .

[Beartalon]

Sorry - I don't have time to be in this round.