RAF IV - game over!

[Mackay]

Welcome back to Ready, Aim... Fire!

Um, this one involves pizza. Enough said.

Living Players:
LocoLobo

Dead Players:
Chuck
Duphrates
mith
Sparticus
MacadamiamaN
MadMax
Leonidas
Vegtable2001
kevinatilusa

Please send choices now.



[This message has been edited by Mackay (edited 04-02-2003 08:13 PM).]

[Sparticus]

sniff sniff...gag cough snort hock spit

Ugh, I need to blow my nose.

[The DogPack]

To whom it may concern

MadMax does not eat pizza. She occasionally takes Chienfou for a walk (as long as it doesn't involve anything too strenuous), and in real life is married to him.

The DogPack is the narrator for all of ChienFou's relatives who live at Asimere kennels Inc.

LocoLobo is a Dago dog who does little but sleep, eat pizza, and fall over empty pizza boxes, which is why he deemed it worthwhile signing up provided he could use pizzas as a weapon.

So any suggestion that it's MadMax's idea to use pizza projectility is fallacious and we wish to ensure that this rumoUr is squashed NOW

So now you know

[LocoLobo]

Fires pizza at Mackay

[ChienFou]

'phones "Pizza on the Park", to arrange for regular logistics deliveries of pizza for LocoLobo to use in RAF IV

[KrankiHund]

Vee vill not tolerate ziss vaste of pizza

[TokigHund]

"Pizza delivery - LocoLobo, get orf yer fat arthe and come and pay the delivewy boy"

[LoopyDog]

"LocoLobo, the place is crawling with empty pizza boxes - How the f*** can I bring a crazy bitch home and impress her when you've got pizza boxes everywhere?"

[CrazyBitch]

"LoopyDog, you told me that Asimere Kennels Inc was a cheerful if mildy untidy place where I'd feel welcome. It's like Beirut on a bad day with pizza boxes. I'm going home and you can wave goodbye to any idea of passion with me now, this evening or ever for that matter"

[MahlemuitSpectre]

AAHHWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[AhoInu]

~ emerging from the study, after updating Dip 2 and Dip 8

"Konichi wa! What's all this fuss about?"

[The DogPack]

Mackay, now look what you've gone and done. The whole of Asimere Kennels is back-biting and in-fighting. It won't be long before there's a maelstrom is the middle of the living room carpet.

------------------
signed ChienFou, LoopyDog, LocoLobo, AhoInu, KrankiHund, TokigHund, MahlemuitSpectre

[LocoLobo]

Throws pizzas at LoopyDog, the back of the departing CrazyBitch, KrankiHund (because it'll wind him up).

~ Builds a fox-hole out of empty pizza boxes; settles in for a 3-day siege.

[KrankiHund]

~ catching a 15 inch thick crust Hawaiian in the back of the neck

"Ziss iss zu much"

~ bites ChienFou and attacks the fox-hole with empty 9" boxes thrown with devastating accuracy frisbee style

[The DogPack]

Holy S***!

There are now 5 dogs in a rolling biting maul rolling round the floor, with occasional excursions to throw pizza boxes at the fox-hole.

LocoLobo, well protected by the fox-hole, is happily eating a 12" thin-crust rolled edge Margerita over which he's sprinkling drops of tabasco sauce, and draping it with anchovies and chocolate buttons. His pallette is somewhat jaded, you see.

MahlemuitSpectre's coffin is being used as a rampart from the other side of the room behind which the pizza-box projectile-machine which KrankiHund has set up using 12 hooked elastic pack-straps and ChienFou's antique card-table is firing boxes every 5 seconds at the fox-hole

OMG, there's going to be hell to pay.

[Mackay]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!

...mmm, pizza!

It seems this is out of my hands!

[MacadamiamaN]

Semi-random philosophicalish statement: Things are not always as they seem

[Mackay]

OK, this is kind of confusing... I hope I got everyone's choices right.

Sparticus, hiding on a balcony overlooking LocoLobo, watches and laughs wickedly as his target wanders beneath him. "Gotcha!" he cries, as he lobs an artichoke and anchovie pizza onto the unsuspecting victim below. At the same time, LocoLobo hits himself with a Pizza Neptune (tuna, prawms, olives and anchovies). No harm done to LocoLobo. In fact, he finds it quite delicious. Unfortunately, the combination of anchovies and more anchovies is quite volatile - it creates a deadly gas which rises to the balcony above. Sparticus chokes, staggers, and falls to his death. Duphrates also fires at LocoLobo, but the same gas causes his bullet to turn 180 degrees and head straight back at him. Poor Duphrates.
Sparticus and Duphrates dead

Vegt, too, decides to club himself in the head. His weapon of choice is, and I quote, a "baggette of doom 'n' stuff". Sounds delish. MadMax decides she will also club Vegt in the head... with a rolling pin. Unfortunately for madMax, the "baggette of doom 'n' stuff" absorbs not only the death blow, but also the rolling pin and MadMax herself.
MadMax dead

MacadamiamaN, ever the traditionalist, gets out his trusty *gun* (yes, GUN). But nobody knows why, as he merely shoots the air and puts it back in its holster. Seconds later he is mercilessly gunned down by Chuck, who was finally sick of wandering off and being shot at. But even as he is surveying the damage, Chuck himself is pelted in the face by a pizza from Leonidas. He slowly suffocates to death in the cheese, too sticky for him to peel it off his face in time.
MacadamiamaN and Chuck dead

kevinatilusa fires a pizza in the air, hoping it won't hit anybody. The only victim of this attack is a passing seagull. mith, being ever the animal lover, grieves so deeply for this poor bird's passing that he proceeds to slowly and painfully club himself to death with a piece of cheese and some pepperoni.
mith dead

Living Players:
LocoLobo
Vegtable2001
Leonidas
kevinatilusa

Dead players:
Sparticus
Duphrates
MacadamiamaN
Chuck
mith

[The DogPack]

Status report:

The "ParlourMaid on the Park" cleaning agency took 6 hours with 3 staff to clean up the living room at Asimere Kennels Inc.

The "Poodle on the Park", ChienFou's fave make-over joint had two stylists grooming the fur of 5 canines for the best part of a day.

LocoLobo is still in his corner, asleep, with 3 empty 15-inch pizza boxes next to him. His fur is *disgusting*, his breath smells of anchovy, garlic, wasabi and chocolate and he's snoring.

The total bill came to 475 GL dollars. We're going to send the bill to Mackay as it's all her fault for ascribing pizza to MadMax and not the DogPack or LocoLobo.

[Mackay]

I'm sorry. I realised I got the wrong DogPack member after I sent the email, but by then it was too late...

Oh, the humanity!

*forks out GL cash*

[chief ten beers]

[temporary hijack]
So Mackay! When are you comin' over to the trailer?
[/temporary hijack]

[Mackay]

So anyway, Vegtable2001 decides his baggette of doom is simply not enough to satisfy him. He wanders off with the vague intention of holding up the pizza store with his baggette of doom 'n' stuff. However, he gets there only to find that the place is closed. He throws his baggette in the air in frustration. It won't save him this time. He is pelted with a Locolobo Special (see above - the margherita with anchovie, tabasco and choc buttons). Vegt screams in agony as the disgusting, toxic mixture of ingredients eats away at his skin, and he falls to the ground dead.
Vegtable2001 dead

It seems that Margherita pizza is a big choice this round. Leonidas decides to cover himself in a "margherita camouflage", coating himself in a toxic mixture of ketchup (token Aussie eye-roll here) and mozzarella. And just in time. kevinatilusa wanders along carrying a pepperoni pizza and looking for a target. He certainly doesn't see Leonidas in the shadows. Eventually he gives up and throws the pizza in the air. "Wow," thought Leonidas, "the camouflage worked! Nobody targeted me at all!" It was then that he realised the fatal flaw in his plan.
Leonidas dead

Living Players:
LocoLobo
kevinatilusa

Dead Players:
Chuck
Duphrates
mith
Sparticus
MacadamiamaN
MadMax
Vegtable2001
Leonidas

And by the way, someone else can mod the next one. Thinking up death scenes is too hard. Especially with pizza.

[Sparticus]

I think you're doing very well, personally.

[Leonidas]

vote: Mackay keeps modding

(with a different topping, -errr- setting, of course, hehe )

[Mackay]

*blushes madly and stares at the ground*

Aw, shucks...

[MN]

Go mackay!

[MadMax]

My 1st game, but it is a laugh. I'd play again. U R doing a star job.

[Mackay]

Just awaiting one more choice.

And thanks for all the support, everyone.

[Mackay]

Still waiting, LocoLobo.......

[LocoLobo]

I'll construct a pizza firing machine from my antique card table and 12 snap on rubber hooks, and pelt kevin with 12 rounds of frozen 6" supermarket economy pizza frisbee style (which is about all that those pizzas are good for.

[Mackay]

LOL! Well, you all read the above... now it's just up to kevinatilusa.

I should really make this all dramatic and stuff, so here I go......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He shot the air. D'oh!


Locolobo wins!!!!!

...anyone else want to mod?

[Vegtable2001]

/mod

[Mackay]

btw, LL, aren't you glad you played now?

[The DogPack]

I think the last round head to head choice is a very interesting piece of Nash Equilibrium theory - maybe the mathematicians can offer a view. Anyway your narrator has to report that LocoLobo arrived back at Asimere Kennels Inc last night considerably the worse for wear and carrying an enormous silver trophy surmounted by a gilt platter studded with many precious stones and considerable amounts of filigree red gold. It looks a lot like this:



We've mounted it on a pile of 15" pizza boxes in the living room, and LocoLobo is currently flavoUr of the month.

SPEECH

Finally and in the best tradition of any major international competition we'd like you all to attend the Victory banquet at Asimere Kennels Inc - I don't need to explain what will be on the menu, and to take this opportunity to thank the long suffering Mackay for her patience in moderating a slightly off-beat RAF with a great deal of humoUr.



[This message has been edited by The DogPack (edited 04-03-2003 09:16 AM).]

[Mackay]

No... more... pizza!

*collapses onto pile of pizza boxes*

(btw, thanks. You guys made it fun. I mainly just quoted everyone's emails and filled in the gaps...)