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doormouse11 · Daedalian Member

Just kidding! I mean, unless you answered yes! I mean...

I actually meant to ask: What are the benefits of getting married (other than tax cuts Cannibal

)?

A while back I asked my parents why they got married and they thought that was a strange and awkward question. But I really don't get it.

I understand that a lot of people get married to create more stability when they have kids - that makes sense to me. And then there are tax benefits, but I doubt anyone actually gets married for tax cuts. What is the plus-side to getting married? I mean, what does marriage add to an already happy, long-term monogamous relationship? I assume there must be lots of nice bonuses to getting married since people have wanted to get married for thousands of years. Is that true?

casinopete · Emergency Backup Antrax

Marriage, Legal:

In some places it might get you tax relief, in others your children might not be considered legal citizens if you are not married. It all depends on the country in which you live, and its legal system.

Marriage, Social:

This basically involves letting people know you are married. Some social systems demand this - you will be considered some variety of outcast if you behave as a married couple without having your marriage "legitimized" by the priest or whatever. Beyond that, its also a matter of public rejoicing. You get to throw a huge party and have your marriage celebrated. Friends and family gather and wish you well. There may also be gifts.

Marriage, Spiritual:

If two people love one another, and intend to spend their lives together, that is marriage. So in this sense, marriage doesn't add to an already happy, long-term monogamous relationship, because that relationship is marriage already.

Dread Pirate Westley · Daedalian Member

It's all a scam set up by the stripping industry. You see, bachelor (and bachelorette) parties are extremely profitable for them. All this other stuff about dresses, and flowers, and receptions and the like sprung up around the original concept of the bachelor party.

You know, like Valentine's Day and Hallmark and Christmas and, er, everything.
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The sooner you accept one simple truth, the sooner we can all get along with our lives.

I'm right.

Lauritz Melchior · Daedalian Member

There's a really fascinating book called "Making Love: An Erotic Odyssey" by Richard Rhodes. It's actually his sexual autobiography, and he's amazingly honest in it. Near the end he talks about the last person that he ended up living with, and how they both decided not to get married and feel that their relationshp is better because of that.
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doormouse11 · Daedalian Member

Thanks Casinopete - I think the social part is what I was confused on. It makes more sense explained like that.

DPW

Lauritz Melchior · Daedalian Member

It's actually my parents Embarassed

I don't that they've read it though, cause it's been in my room =p]
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2500th member give or take 3

Leptonn · Guest

Anecdotally, many of my friends feel that marriage (or engagement, in any case) is a good way to express commitment and love and all that. Dumbasses.

Mr Stoofer · Daedalian Member

I used to feel like you, doormouse.

Then I got married.

It makes a huge difference to the way I feel about my life and my relationship. Going through a ceremony where we both commit to each other for the rest of our lives gave me a sense of security and happiness that can't be described, it can only be experienced.

I'd recommend it to anyone, provided you've found the right man, woman or whatever...

Ctorj · Did I spell that right?

GH · Daedalian Member

mith · Pitbull of Truth

GH · Daedalian Member

It's actually not meant to be. I personally think it's absurd. But does that mean that people who think it's important are stupid? What about fishing? Or a birthday party for a kid who's turning 1? Or handing out trophies to every kid on the team at the end of a sports season in which we don't even keep score, let alone track win-loss records?

I just believe there's a big difference between "I think that's a silly thing do" and "You're a dumb-ass."

Lepton · 1:41+ Arse Scratcher

GH:

I should have made my circumstances a bit more clear. I am an early-20s kid. Most of my engaged friends are being rash and immature. (an opinion shared by many mutual friends) Anecdotal, as I said.

Mackay · Saviour of Spiders

Not all people who become engaged in their early 20s are dumbasses... Melancholy

casinopete · Emergency Backup Antrax

Yeah... but most of 'em are. Felicitous

Talitha · the Judge!

MatthewV · Daedalian Member :_

For guys it means you get to stop buying flowers. And you get to eat the chocolate yourself.

Samadhi · +1

Yeah, if you never want to have sex again.

Talitha · the Judge!

Hmm, you mean if I held out I could've been getting flowers all this time??

I have never had flowers from a husband Melancholy

doormouse11 · Daedalian Member

Awww, that makes me want to send you flowers!

My boyfriend doesn't get me flowers either. He does get me a lot of ice cream though (I actually like ice cream a lot more than flowers). And he takes me out to eat.

darquiel · Daedalian Member

My bestest buddy got married six years ago... I dont think he's gotten laid once in these 6 years.... He actually had to explain that in the trying to have children thing, you have to get it on at least once. lol

Jeff K · I haev h4x0red teh TEITALS!!!1

lolz!!!!!!!! Laughing

Mackay · Saviour of Spiders

I cannot stop laughing at the above post.

Kd · Mei Li De Hua

Laughter is mighty infectious...

Bonus of being married: Other people you know don't bug you about it. Felicitous

Ever since my sister got married (a few years ago now) everyone in the family has been saying 'Ooh, it's Kady's turn next...' and it reeeeallly annoys me. What if I don't want to get married? What if I just... never marry? Are they going to keep saying it for the rest of my life? I hope not. Getting married has always been a big deal to people around me for some reason...
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darquiel · Daedalian Member

I have two best friends. All of us are 20 years of age. I had a baby Oct 24th of 99, and am considering another soon as my life is pretty straight. One of my best friends had one on June 16th of this year, the other had one on Aug 5th of this year. None of us are married. We've been friends for years and lost touch for two years, just finding each other again earlier last month, and we were all in the same situation with people judging and such SOOOOO much because we are not married. The father of my child died shortly after 9/11, and one of my friends left her bf of a couple of years, and the father of her child just last month... So all but one are single mothers, and the one who isnt, has no plans to marry. I hate how EVERYONE around us try to rush us into finding someone and getting married, and how everyone around judges our every move just because there is no ring on our fingers. It sucks.

EDIT: Sooo sorry. Just needed to rant a bit cuz someone just got me mighty miffed IR.